Kay Bruner

Last month, I wrote about the natural process of individual growth. Our individual problems surface over time throughout our lives, and when they surface, it’s not a cause for alarm or self-shaming. When our problems surface, we are simply facing an opportunity for growth. We might even come to be grateful for those chances to […]

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Things I used to believe: You’re supposed to “deal with all your stuff” before you go overseas. If your stuff starts to resurface while you’re overseas, that’s because you didn’t deal with it enough beforehand. Stuff resurfacing is bad and an indication of failure. You better be perfect, or close to it–or else. If you […]

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I’ve written before about domestic abuse among missionaries. (Here and here are my previous articles.) I always wish that I didn’t have to write about this, because I wish it didn’t exist in our communities, but it does. Because domestic abuse does exist among missionaries, it is my privilege and calling to shine a light […]

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Ask a Counselor: Easter realities

by Kay Bruner on April 5, 2018

“Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours, Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ’s compassion to the world Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good; Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men […]

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Years ago, when I was overseas, in the throes of a nervous breakdown, my counselor at the time was trying to help me put healthy boundaries in place. I was exhausted, barely able to get out of bed to come to counseling appointments, yet the thought of healthy boundaries was shocking to me, and I […]

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Ask a Counselor: the epiphany of Love

by Kay Bruner on February 4, 2018

I love the idea of an epiphany, that “a-ha moment” that brings a flash enlightenment. Right now, we’re in the season of Epiphany, according to the church calendar. Epiphany begins just after Christmas and runs all the way up until Ash Wednesday, when Lent begins. It’s a strange and beautiful story, the original Epiphany: astrologers […]

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Ask a Counselor: Annual Self-Care Check-Up Edition

by Kay Bruner on January 3, 2018

It’s become my tradition to kick off every year with a post encouraging self-care for the year ahead. Last year, I talked about using the biopsychosocial model as a basis for a well-rounded self-care plan.  I even created a fun, handy-dandy animation about it. I still think that’s a great model to use, and I […]

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Ask a Counselor: step back from the edge, my friends

by Kay Bruner on December 5, 2017

Some of us here are overfunctioners. This means that we tend to do more than our fair share of everything. You name it, we do too much of it. Overfunctioners exist in the real world of regular people, but I think the missionary world tends to attract more than its fair share. After all, out […]

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Ask a Counselor: no child soldiers, no child sacrifice

by Kay Bruner on November 5, 2017

Jesus talked quite a bit about the Kingdom of Heaven and its King. Jesus told us that the Kingdom of Heaven is like: Seeds, broadcast into a field Yeast in a loaf of bread A treasure, hidden in a field A pearl of great price A net full of fish.  (Matthew 13) Jesus told us […]

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Ask a Counselor: faith shift edition

by Kay Bruner on October 5, 2017

It can begin any number of ways: Burnout leads to a need for better boundaries And you ask yourself: “If Jesus offers rest for my soul, why does everyone else want me to work harder?” Social justice issues move to the forefront And you ask yourself: “People here are literally dying, while American Christians sit […]

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Ask A Counselor: How’s my self-care plan holding up?

by Kay Bruner on September 5, 2017

Hey friends, I usually write a self-care post in January, but I just wanted to run through a quick self-care check-up with you this month, and give a few ideas if you find yourself needing a little pick-me-up. I like to use the Biopsychosocial model as a guide to make sure that we’re covering all […]

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Letter of the day: “I’m coming to you at this moment as a desperate mom in need of a resource, like, today for my 10 year old son. Briefly: After 5 years living in _____, we’re packing up and heading back to the states in 3 1/2 weeks. My anxiety prone son, who is very […]

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