I love when a lesson or reminder comes from an unexpected place.
I also love the NFL, where my beloved American football team the Denver Broncos plays.
Motivated by curiosity of what it’s like in the NFL, recently I listened to a podcast where two NFL wives discussed their lives. Imagine my surprise as the longer they talked, the move I saw connections between NFL families and missionaries. (For those of you groaning, yes, there is plenty that is different!)
Truly, in the non-missionary life, NFL player’s families (and other professional sports) may be the most unlikely place to find people who live similar lives to ours. I’m not trying to make light of our callings and the sacrifices made. But look over this list of five similarities and I think even if you hate sports, you’ll be surprised!
1—Stability (or lack there of): Both of the women’s husbands have been professional athletes for about 8 years and they said that their husbands have never been on the exact same team two games in a row. Never. Due to injuries and trades, the team is more in flux than it might appear. Take a moment and that this soak in.
This can be a challenge for the coaches and players when it comes to finding a rhythm and knowing who you are actually working with.
In missionary world, I only had the exact same team twice, once for two years and once for three years. My first five years on the field were incredibly stable, allowing for my teammates and I to gain ministry traction and build routines. I thought this type of stability was the norm. If you’re laughing, I get it. But if you’ve been a stable team situation, you know what a gift it is!
2—Rotating friend circles: For the players and coaches, being on the team of course involved relationships, but they were there to play football. They had a clear purpose. For the spouses and kids who might join a team mid-way through the season, all of the hellos and goodbyes could make finding friends and building community difficult. Throw in the off seasons and loneliness can be a real struggle.
For missionaries, couples may have to navigate when one is viewed at the “employee” of the organization and the other “the spouse.” (I see a soapbox and I want to get on it, but for the sake of this post, will walk by giving it a VERY STRONG side eye!)
With furloughs, home assignments, medical situations, language school, new opportunities and end of terms, it can be a challenge to find relational stability too.
3—All that comes with moving: The wives shared how finding new doctors, housing, setting up home, finding schools, and learning a team’s rhythms is harder than it looks. It’s exhausting and there’s a chance you may be doing it again in a few weeks, months, or (Lord willing) years.
Yes, many of them have financial and linguistic resources to navigate these moves and many missionaries have the added stress of money and language. Acknowledging that piece, money can’t alleviate the shared humanity of needing a doctor for your kid and being new in a location.
4—Money differences: We can agree that many top professional male athletes in the west earn obscene amounts of money. And many male professional athletes earn decent salaries. But I hadn’t thought about the incredible range on a team. You might be lining up next to someone who is doing the same job earning many times more than you do. Like, where’s the equity?!
We have our own version of this. I remember being shocked at how little rent a friend paid for a HOUSE (not an apartment) in another country in Asia. It was so cute! It had three bedrooms! The kitchen was large! There was a yard! Why hadn’t God called me here! It was warm! It was pretty! There were flowers! It reduced me to short sentences! And explanation points!
I was following God’s call and I had (nice) housing (just not adorable!).
5—Teammates: American football is made up of three different teams: offense, defense, and special teams. Each has a unique role and each team is made up of multiple players that work together to accomplish a goal. I was surprised how often professional players need to adapt to new teammates.
A few weeks ago I was talking with an older millennial missionary who resents the disdain she felt from other missionaries after she completed her commitment and returned home. Yes, she’s been on the field for ten years and her leaving wasn’t abrupt. But it wasn’t “a lifetime of commitment” to that location. Instead, she has a lifetime of commitment to Jesus. On the field, we may need to view teammates more like a teammates on a sports team than in a marriage.
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There you have it, the ways that NFL player’s families are like missionaries. Did any of these points surprise you? What might you add to the list?
