Category: Julie Jean Francis

I was unprepared. When the darkness crept in so thickly I could feel it to my bones. When I felt a presence in the room I can only describe as evil. When my neighbor volunteered to make a sacrifice so my baby would stop crying. When my house worker wanted to make an offering in my backyard because she had seen a snake. When my kids woke up screaming in the night seeing things in their bedroom. When my landlord showed me the elaborate “spirit house” in the yard of my newly rented house. 

What do you do when the evil creeps in and interrupts your life in tangible ways? What do you do when your theology and faith are stretched to the limits of what you expected to even be possible? 

One option is to explain it away. Surely that was not an evil spirit in my kids’ bedroom. They must have just had a bad dream or maybe they are just scared of the dark (aren’t all kids?). Surely that “curse” my neighbor told me about is just an outdated, meaningless superstition. Surely this rational, explainable world has a logical, scientific explanation– one that is devoid of a belief in the supernatural (or even God). 

Another option is to ignore it. Refuse to think about it. Do nothing. Carry on. Don’t let those new experiences affect my long-held beliefs and acceptable religious tradition. Don’t talk about those weird “out-there” experiences to my supporters, family, fellow workers, or friends. They might think I’ve turned into an even more of an extreme spiritual wack-job. I’ll just put all those experiences in a box and forget about them — at least when I am on home assignment or writing newsletters.  

My last option was to dig deep and acknowledge that maybe Scripture had been there all along warning me about the spiritual battle that would happen when I carried my light into the world’s darkness. My last option was to show humility and realize that alone I had no power over the darkness, but through the power of God, his Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit he had given to live within me, the darkness would indeed cower and flee. 

My last option was to hold out my light, His Light, and walk bravely into the unknown of spiritual warfare. 

Praise God for his timing. On a home assignment, the leader of our organization organized a short retreat on the very topic I needed: confronting the evil around us. I took notes furiously as he spoke. I opened myself up to learn something that a few years before I didn’t even think existed. 

I studied Scripture again, reading it anew with the scales off my eyes. I got back home to Asia and began to study the armor of God along with my children. I researched ancient practices and learned more about church history. I actually listened to my local friends and what they had to say instead of explaining or ignoring what I couldn’t easily understand. 

And then I moved beyond study and reflection and did the hardest step of all: I started to put it all into practice. I realized my strongest defense against the darkness was the Word of God, prayed in new ways. 

I started praying the Jesus Prayer. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. (Luke 18:38)

I started praying the Lord’s Prayer and actually meant the words I was saying. Deliver us from evil. (Matthew 6:9-13)

I started praying against the darkness and evil around me in the holy name of Jesus. At the name of Jesus every knee should bow. (Philippians 2:10)

In my praying, I started actually having confidence that Christ’s victory on the cross meant spiritual victory over the forces of evil both within me and around me. 

Some days, I still can feel hesitant to put on the armor of God and confront the darkness around me, especially when I know it will make the other people around me feel just as uncomfortable as I first felt when I made my first foray into spiritual warfare. And some days the power of darkness can seem stronger than the flicker of light I carry. But He is faithful, and I will hold tightly to His promises. 

I know I am not alone, for He is living within me. I can carry my candle into the darkness in confidence knowing that, as St. Francis of Assisi said, “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” 

I know I am not alone, for there are many other faithful followers of Christ also shining brightly. Although at times my individual light may be dim, all of us together can join together to walk bravely into the darkness, into the unknown, into the uncomfortable, into the world, calling others also to walk in the Light. 

May God indeed deliver us from evil and use us to lead others to the hope we have in Him. 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” and “We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

1 John 1:7; 1 John 5:19-20

The apostle John tells us, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts” (1 John 5:21). This verse informs the center of my book, Bowing Low: Rejecting the Idols Around Us to Worship the Living God. 

But even if we can identify the idols in our lives, how can we lay them down when many of our idols are held tightly by our culture? That’s the purpose of the upcoming online meditative Bible study, which starts on January 4, 2025.

The details for the Bible study are at the end of this post, but first I want to share an excerpt from Bowing Low that illustrates the posture behind the book.

~~~ 

I remember the first time I saw it–unbelievable, I thought. Gold reflecting in the hot sun towering above the city skyline. Surely this is a strange, exotic place. So bizarre compared to the small-town life of my childhood, where the only thing that jutted above the city was an old, blue water tower. 

The gold point stretched into the sky reaching towards heaven and commanding a certain humble awe. I was impressed. 

The 300-foot golden stupa was covered with pure gold plates. At the top, visible only by a telescope: a giant 76-karat diamond surrounded by thousands of diamonds and precious stones. On every high hill, another idol stood proudly– in all directions, as far as my eyes could reach. Golden pagodas and stone statues visible in all directions. Idols were everywhere. 

That was the first temple I saw, but far from the last. On my first visit, I was a tourist on a tourist visa. In the country only 28 days to see the very, very surface of a place and culture. It was easy to be overwhelmed by the newness, the glitter, and the shine. I admit it: It was easy to be impressed by the idols. 

After more than 12 years of living in Southeast Asia, the newness has been replaced by awareness and understanding. I still have questions, but I understand so much more: not just about the outward actions, but the inward motivations permeating this culture. I am not impressed by the idols around me anymore. The idols have lost their shine and attraction for me.

And I’ve come to realize that while the outward manifestations of idol worship here look very different from my home culture, maybe the inward motivations are much the same. Seeing the idols in another culture revealed the idols in my own. Maybe my experience as an American has more in common with this exotic idolatry, now everywhere around me, than I first thought. 

My time here has changed me. My time outside of the United States has helped me recognize the glaring idols from my home culture. Our Western idols are unlike those on every high hill in Southeast Asia, but maybe we are all trying to fulfill the longing in our hearts with the idols around us. We are drawn to what reflects, what shines. Drawn to the idea that our good actions can benefit our futures if we just get the process right. We’re drawn to things we can control and a system we can understand. We’re drawn to things that look like us. We’re drawn to the idols around us, but only God can fulfill the longing in our hearts. Will we open the eyes of our hearts to see them? 

Health. Prosperity. Security. Entertainment and Worthless Things. Independence. Political Power. Control. They don’t stand gleaming in the sunlight, towering above our cities in tangible ways like the idols in Southeast Asia. They may be invisible at first. But they surround us nonetheless, dotting our landscape on all sides calling to us with their shiny promises.

God will not share his glory with idols, even our refined American ones. 

My husband and I, with our children, have spent most of our time in Southeast Asia very isolated from other Westerners and expats. After a couple years of national language study, we moved to a rural area where we were very alone. As our isolation grew, so did our dependence on God. God began to chip away at my devotion to my own cultural idols with each passing year. 

It’s been a long process, little by little, here and there, again and again. A process that has pruned me and removed the scales from my eyes. God has revealed the hold American, Western idols have held on my heart, the empty promises they’ve left behind, and how useless they are to me here. 

Behind every one of our cultural idols is a longing and hunger that can only be filled with God himself, in the oneness of his three-person fullness. Until we identify our idols, our misplaced trust, and our deepest longings, we cannot fully fill ourselves with the love of God. 

I don’t identify the idols in a foreign culture to condemn, but to reveal the ways in which the True and Living God can fulfill that need. I don’t identify the idols in my home American culture to shame or condemn, but to reveal the ways in which the True and Living God can fulfill that need. As Saint Augustine has said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” 

He wants our whole hearts. He wants us to live holy lives. He is worthy! 

~~~

The Bowing Low study is a call to the restless in heart. To those who want to find God and find peace. To those who are ready to reject the cultural idols around them and see that our Western idols are damaging our relationships with God and with each other and leaving us empty. 

The values held most closely at the center of a culture’s worldview are the “high places” that can become worshiped as idols. These values are deeply held and revered. They are protected and defended. And people can go berserk defending these cultural idols. Health, Prosperity, Entertainment and Worthless Things, Independence, Security, Political Power, and Control. These values have become our idols. They are our raw spots and hold our cultural assumptions about reality. They are our cultural high places. 

The online Bowing Low Meditative Bible study is an invitation to explore the seven idols to which Western culture bows and the Biblical truths that will tear them down. What if our primary task in tearing down the idols is fighting against the things that we can’t see–the spiritual powers and the spiritual strongholds set up on every cultural high hill around us? 

Do you long for a Bible study that goes deeper? Do you want to study in a community with others who serve overseas? This online study is for you. You will be challenged. Your love of God, His Son, His Spirit, and His Word will deepen. You will encounter God. And you will never see your cultural idols the same again. Using the ancient Christian practice of lectio divina, we will create space for you to hear God’s voice. You will also practice prayer, confession, and putting your faith into action. 

God With Us will be our guide on this journey. We believe that He is with us. He is waiting for us to return to Him with our whole hearts, and He is ready to extend His mercy and lovingkindness. 

This new 15-week online class of “Bowing Low” starts on January 4. That’s 15 weeks before Easter.

Use the Lenten season to grow closer to Christ. God will meet you where you are and lead you into a deeper, richer relationship with Him as you tear down cultural idols and fully commit yourself to the Living God. 

Each week you will: 

• Read one chapter from Bowing Low: Rejecting the Idols Around Us to Worship the Living God, available here on Amazon in paperback or Kindle. 
• Have access to an online community group with weekly short videos posted by Julie Jean Francis, discussion questions, reflections, and prayer.
• (Optionally) Use the Bowing Low Workbook: A Meditative Bible Study daily as part of your personal quiet time with God using ancient Christian practices including lectio divina, available here.
• (Optionally) Meet for a live online group call for a Biblical message, prayer, discussion, and encouragement with Julie Jean Francis and other members of the A Life Overseas community. 

The cost of this online class with Julie Jean Francis is $30. To join the 15-week online study of Bowing Low: Rejecting the Idols Around Us to Worship the Living God, please first fill out this Google Form.

The class begins January 4th! Please register before December 14th.

Note: This new prayer incorporates many familiar old prayers of the church.

For America, the beautiful,
My passport country, my home culture, and land that I love.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Woe to me; I am undone.
I am but a human of unclean lips:
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner!

And I live among a people of unclean lips.
And my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty!

We are a weary, worn, and worried people.
We are a people divided, dejected, and on the edge of despair.
Yet, we hope in you and your unfailing love and mercy.

We confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
Lord, forgive us our sins!

Another election and another dissection of our nation,
A vote that, no matter the outcome,
Will anger and enrage half of us and
Seek to divide all of us, even those of us who call on your Name.

O, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us, sinners!
O, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, grant us your wisdom and your peace!

For all those running for office,
For all those serving as leaders among us,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

For those who must vote to absolve their conscience,
For those who cannot vote to absolve their conscience,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

May we seek you, Lord, as our greatest good.
May we seek you, Lord, as our only true Hope.

For the Red States,
For the Blue States,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

For the expats, away from home, who pray from a distance in a foreign land,
For the locals, where they are, who are the hands and feet of Jesus in their communities,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

May we all in unity represent the Kingdom of Jesus Christ,
May we all in unity be ambassadors for Christ the King.

For those whose idol in political power has fallen face down, like Dagon,
For those whose idol is still the democratic process,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

For those who are fearful,
For those who are hopeful,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

May we trust not in chariots or horses or elections, but in the name of the Lord our God.
May we submit ourselves to every authority, knowing that the blood of the Lamb was followed by the blood of the saints who refused to bow in worship to the idols.

For all the innocents: for the unborn, the children, the weak and the poor, the disabled and elderly, the widow, orphan, and foreigner,
For all the perpetrators: for the exploiters, the deceivers and deniers, the evil, those seeking power, money, and glory, the cruel and the abusive,
Oh, King Jesus, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who have most need of Thy mercy,
We pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer!

May your Light shine in this darkness.
May your white radiance of purity and grace cover both the red states and the blue.

May your people show your eternal Kingdom that never ends.
May your people wear the shining white robes of sacrifice,
A symbol of your Light and Grace
That we may be a City on a Hill that cannot be hidden.

Holy, spotless Lamb, crucified for the sins of the world,
Forgive us our sins and save us!
Holy, spotless Lamb of God, killed by the authorities,
Show us your mercy!
God, the Father, who is Love,
Help us to love you and love each other!

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit
In the Holy Name of Jesus Christ, our Savior,
Lord Almighty, Savior of the World, Eternal King seated on the Throne of Heaven,
Never needing an election, ruling forever.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.

Amen.

Over a decade ago we joined an organization whose primary goal was Bible translation and church planting with a focus on incarnational ministry. 

We did national language in a large city for three years before God nudged us to step out in faith and make a big move to a more rural area where we could live among the people group we had been led to serve in Bible translation. 

This move was fraught with challenges and change. No one within our organization had ever moved out to the rural areas of our country before. We’d be the first to attempt it. Could we do it?

We had to figure out a visa situation (and once we did, we had to leave the country every 70 days to renew it). We had to find housing. We had to travel with our three very young children (ages 4, 2, and baby at the time). We knew absolutely no one in the area to help us. I was also pregnant with baby number four. It was… a lot. 

But God. We felt a call to go, and we went. It was difficult. And God showed up through each difficulty. My husband met just the right people who helped set up a perfect visa situation for us. We made some connections. We thought the city was livable and doable. Even my little four-year-old’s prayers were answered for a “sparkly house,” which we had initially told her might not happen because houses in our country of service were never “sparkly.” 

After a month of trial and difficulty, we had a visa, a house, a few connections, and hope that God had called us to serve incarnationally in this place we could grow to love. We felt hope and peace. 

God grew our community and ministry. Our home became the center of our lives and our incarnational ministry. We had no privacy; but we did have friends, neighbors, and national co-laborers who saw us living out our Christian faith day in and day out. 

We loved our simple, yet hard life. We ate fresh food from the market, which I had to buy daily. We struggled with lack of consistent electricity and mosquito-borne illnesses. We struggled with isolation, loneliness, and a lack of Christian community.

Yet we felt called to this life of incarnational ministry, and the sacrifices seemed worth it. We felt God was with us, was for us, and had planned this life for us. 

Then covid hit. We decided to stay in our home in our country of service, come what may. Isolation became even more of a reality. Opportunities for incarnational ministry waned. Ministry goals were put on hold.

We started becoming disconnected even from our national co-laborers who were either home in their villages or confined to work from their homes. It was a very difficult time for our family and the life of our ministry. We couldn’t wait for the covid restrictions to end. 

And then, an even greater disaster struck: a military coup. The instability and violence that followed prompted our organization to ask us to leave. We left our home in 24 hours with two suitcases for our entire family, which had grown to eight. 

We had lived in our rural area for five years. We had no time to say proper goodbyes or give any of us proper closure. We had no choice and no warning. Our incarnational ministry in the land and country we loved was over. 

That was in 2021. We’ve recently commemorated the third year anniversary of the military coup that changed our lives forever. We haven’t stopped our work; the ministry has continued in our absence. But it isn’t the same. 

Despite our organization’s focus on incarnational ministry, despite our ministry plans and long-term goals, despite what we wish would have happened, we haven’t been able to go back and live among the people we desire to serve. 

And we aren’t alone. We’ve met so many people over the last three years in our same situation and predicament. Covid. Visa issues. Political instability. War. Evacuation. Loss.

Whatever has caused your ministry disruption over the last few years, I pray that these five reminders will help you adjust your expectations and continue to move forward, even though things have not turned out how you envisioned. 

1. Grieve what you’ve lost.
Take time to lament to God why you’re mad, frustrated, angry, sad, disappointed, or heartbroken that what you wanted didn’t happen. Write a poem. Journal. Pray with a friend. Confess your feelings in a small group. Get counseling. Write a list of all the things you no longer have. Then, loop through that grieving process again (and again) until you feel you have unstacked all those hard emotions and shared them with God and with good listeners. 

2. Accept the new reality.
This step was perhaps the hardest for me. It is hard to let go of one dream to live in a new reality you weren’t planning on. But it is necessary to both grieve what you’ve lost and then move forward in accepting the new reality and making the most of it. Things aren’t what you planned or what you wanted, but can you accept that your life isn’t over and that God can still use you in a new way during a new season? 

3. Make prayer your key strategy.
Make your dependence on God the forefront of your ministry and personal goals. God knows the situation that led to your ministry changing, and he knows you intimately. He cares about the people you serve and the work you are doing. Petition God in prayer to lead you, your team, and your ministry.

Remember that all your work depends on the grace of God, and all your “success” depends on God calling people to himself. God’s Holy Spirit could only come after Jesus ascended to heaven. God’s Spirit will continue to work even after you’ve had to leave.

4. Enlist help for #3.
As you make prayer your ministry strategy, share your detailed needs with your family, churches, and supporters. We’ve found it helpful to get supporters to commit to pray one day each month for you and your ministry and coworkers rather than just include prayer requests in newsletters (although that is good too).

You can ask people to “adopt” a day between 1 and 31 and ask them to pray and send a brief message on that day each month. It adds daily prayer support to your ministry and adds accountability. We’ve also created monthly prayer guides focusing on a specific aspect of ministry, shared prayer requests in a closed social media group, sent out emails and newsletters, and shared specific personal prayer needs with specific people.

5. Keep hope that God will turn evil into good for His Kingdom.
It’s easy to give up and become cynical about visa problems, government politics, war, and conflict. It’s easy to abandon the goals for your work and ministry as impossible because of a situation that is out of your control. Resist that temptation. Hold on to hope that God has always used evil for His good and for the expansion of His Kingdom. 

Your role and work may have changed, your location may have changed, your ministry may look different than you wanted it to, but God is still working. He is still with you and your national coworkers. He still loves you, and He still loves the people you serve. 

So hold onto hope. Keep praying, and keep working. Remember that God’s Spirit makes up for our lack. Trust that God’s Word will go where we cannot. And keep believing that God’s light will shine in the darkness.

The one-year lease just came up on our house here in Southeast Asia. We love this house. My anxiety set in: Will we get to rent another year? Will the rent go up? How long can this place be “home?”

The cross-cultural life is full of impermanence. I avoid buying my kids big stuffed animals because I know they won’t fit in the suitcases when we leave. I avoid buying too many sets of clothes because a week’s worth is all that will fit in a suitcase anyway. I avoid buying furniture besides the bare minimum or much of any household or seasonal decorations because this house/place/location isn’t forever. We were reluctant to get a pet for the same reasons – though in the end we did. 

I know someday we’ll be moving on. This isn’t our passport country. Maybe we won’t get our visas next year. Maybe the government will be unfriendly to foreigners. Maybe a crisis will bring us back to America, or maybe we’ll move because of our kids’ educational or emotional needs. Maybe we’ll get sick and need better medical care, or maybe our funding just won’t come in. Saying “maybe” in this impermanent life is both second nature and a constant opportunity to worry.

Permanence feels like security, and in Western culture, security is something that we crave, idealize, sacrifice to, and worship. In my book about American idols, security is seated near the top. Security in our house, our job, our relationships, our finances, our safety makes us feel in control. (Incidentally, I believe control is the American idol at the very top.)

I serve in a Buddhist context. One of the most important ideas in Buddhism is the idea of impermanence. Buddhists believe we can avoid suffering by being unattached to life. Unattached to physical things, but also unattached from relationships, family, and love. The goal is to empty yourself of desire until you can reach enlightenment. You can follow in the way of Buddha and leave your family, become a monk, unattached and unsecure, relying on your daily ration of rice given each morning by the generous neighbors surrounding the pagoda in your community. Impermanence is a central tenet of Buddhism. 

We aren’t Buddhists. We follow Jesus Christ. But on some points, Buddhism and Christianity can have some common ground. Minimalism is good for the Christian. We see Jesus choose that path and encourage His followers to walk in His steps. It is good to live a simple life that is not focused on the accumulation of things to fill the emptiness in our lives. As Jesus says, “Where your treasure is, there your heart is also.” 

One of the central claims of Jesus is that “to save your life, you must lose it.” As believers, we hope and believe in the Resurrection of Jesus. Just as He rose again, we will rise again to a permanent, eternal life in a new heaven and new earth. “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through,” we sing together with vigor. But our daily lives often don’t reflect this impermanent reality. 

For Christians, minimalism and impermanence help us to more readily follow Jesus and focus on our eternal life after death. But what about feeling planted and grounded in a community and a culture? What about creating healthy spaces for our TCKs to grow and develop? What about our Christian ideals to encourage the connections to community, love, and family? 

How can we develop healthy family patterns and routines that give us stability and ground our kids in an ever-changing impermanent environment filled with instability, loss, and a constant supply of “maybes”? 

Here are five practices our family has found to be helpful. 

Accept that change is a part of normal. 

Impermanence is part of life, whether living overseas or in your passport country. Our friends who have never lived cross-culturally can and do understand unexpected change that leads to loss. We may have experienced different types of losses, but we have a lot in common, too. Security in permanence is an illusion, no matter where we live.

Practice gratitude.

Gratitude is consistently linked to greater happiness and more positive emotions in modern psychology. We are commanded to show gratitude to God, but it should also be a natural overflow of our Christian life. Start a gratitude practice of actually writing down what you are thankful for each day, especially when you are in a season of transition or when you are struggling to accept the changes in life. 

Develop family rituals and routines that you can take with you wherever you go. 

Get creative and be simple. Start routines that can easily transfer with you regardless of location or special supplies. Maybe you can do your daily Bible story/snack time every afternoon. Or you can say the Lord’s Prayer together every night before bed. Make holiday traditions transferable, too. We “trick or treat” to each door in our house on Halloween and hand out candy, and we hang up a paper and cardboard Season’s Tree in our dining room to decorate for each season. 

Do what works for your family, but do something! Find simple and sustainable traditions and routines that can ground your family and create continuity between locations. Seek out education, help, and resources for your TCKs. The time, money, and energy are worth the investment for their future. Help them process and mourn their grief when things change.

I’ve developed a free processing tool that goes along with my new children’s book, When We Called Myanmar Home. There are also many other activities and processing tools available from varied sources. Ask your community or organization for recommendations and help. 

Don’t isolate yourself from love and connection, even when those friendships or family members may not be here forever.

Turn to others for comfort and support. Share and mourn the impermanent losses together with others who can listen and understand. Talk about your desire for security, home, and physical objects with others. Keep your heart soft. Stay connected with key relationships in your life, and keep investing in new relationships. 

Accept impermanence as a promise of God, rather than a threat to your security. 

Remind yourself again that everyone’s lives are impermanent and sometimes unpredictable. Security and control are Western cultural idols, and God won’t share His glory. He will knock the idols down on their faces. 

God promises both “peace that passes understanding” and that “in this world you will have troubles, but I have overcome the world.” Each day has enough worry of its own, and Jesus has come to “give us life to the full.” 

Our circumstances, location, and relationships may change, but God’s promises are true and lasting. “For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us” (2 Corinthians 1:20). 

If you, like me, struggle at times to feel secure in the promises of God to be your security in an ever-changing world, start a “Promises of God” journal, writing down His promises to you as you read them in Scripture or as He speaks to your heart in prayer. Read through the journal when you are struggling to see God’s promises fulfilled in your current circumstance. Lament to God and share your feelings with Him. He will be faithful to you. 

We can be healthy, and we can have healthy families even as we live and serve in a world of impermanence and uncertainty. Colossians 2:6-7 tells us, “Just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.” We can be rooted in Him wherever we go. 

God created this world to be impermanent, but our eternal life on the new heaven and new earth will last forever. He is “the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end . . . the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.” We can be rooted in our relationships, in our routines and traditions, in our gratitude, in the promises of God, and in Christ himself, the one who “is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” 

I grew up in rural America where four very distinct seasons dominated the rhythms of my family’s farming life. But now, even after 10 plus years of living in Southeast Asia, the long monsoon season can still catch me off guard.

While summer in America is filled with vacations and beach trips, fireworks and cookouts, camps and church VBS, the “summer months” here look much different due to the monsoon rainy season. As a reference point, yearly precipitation in Southeast Asia is over four times the average precipitation in rural America. These rains bring relief from the scorching temperatures of the hot and dry season but also many unwanted challenges.

Rainy season in Southeast Asia is our family’s equivalent to a winter hibernation. I rarely leave our house with our many children, and the swarms of dengue- and disease-carrying mosquitoes prevent me from spending much time outside.

A certain seasonal depression tends to set in for me. The rains begin fairly slowly at the end of May or beginning of June. But by the end of July and into August, the torrents feel unceasing. It rains and rains and rains. Every day for days on end, hardly pausing long enough for my mind to remember that the rains have ever stopped.

The torrents beat down on the metal roof of our house with a deafening roar. Floods come to some neighborhoods, and roads washout on mountain passes, disrupting travel and trade. Mudslides can take the lives of whole villages.

Our own house is safe from the extreme dangers. It is built well with a firm foundation, but the incessant day after day rains still take their toll on our physical and mental health. Mold seems to grow on everything, making cleaning and especially laundry challenging. We hang our clothes in a hallway with a fan blowing, finally folding it after a couple days when we realize they aren’t going to get any drier. In years past we’ve ironed every piece of our clothing just to get the mold and wetness out.

Ants try to escape the floods in the yard and invade our house in droves. They are efficient workers, dragging their eggs with them and making themselves at home almost anywhere in just a few hours. What is cleaned today will not stay clean tomorrow, making me feel trapped in a cycle of never-ending work and to-do lists. No matter how much I accomplish today, it will never be enough.

Rainy season illnesses seem to be both physical and spiritual in nature. Our physical bodies are attacked with illness as our spiritual fortitude and commitments are tested and purified. In years past, we contracted the mosquito-borne dengue fever and chikungunya, which were both terrible, frightening, and physically and spiritually exhausting. This year we eked by with random fevers and stomach bugs until one of our kids contracted a skin infection that made her unable to walk normally and required over a month of strong antibiotics.

Amid the stupor of fevers and out-of-whack family routines, time passes in a blur of daily survival. I move from one urgent task to the next, never knowing when it will end or when the next crisis will arrive.

Somewhere in the midst of the rainy season weariness each year, I start to wonder if the world will ever dry out again. If the torrents of stress and illness, fatigue and depression, discouragement and trials of faith will ever have a reprieve. Will my clothes ever dry? Will the mold ever go away? Will we ever be healthy again? Will I ever feel the warmth of the bright sun on my skin?

Will I ever feel the blessings of God pouring down again, or will I continually be tested by the never-ending, pounding storms of life?

Will the rains ever stop?

Just when I’m about to give in to the ants and the mold, to the depression and the sickness, to the hopelessness and discouragement, somehow every year, the sun shines again, and little by little health and hope return.

So I’m waiting and hoping and holding on. Maybe soon I’ll see the rainbow after the storm.

The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves make us who we are. The stories we tell others about ourselves make us known and understood.

We must know our own story so we understand the world and how we fit into it. And we must know our story so we can share and connect our story with others.

Telling Our Family Story

Our family’s story changed suddenly when a military coup required us to leave our home. There were so many varied losses: we left our home in 24 hours with just two suitcases for our family of eight. But the greatest loss for our children was the complete loss of all that was normal to them.

They are young, and they didn’t understand what the political situation had to do with them or with us leaving our home. They needed to process not just a singular event on our family timeline, but the hundreds of little things from our daily norm that we lost when we were forced to move away.

I wrote a picture book to show our simple daily rhythms and the familiar normal that was shattered first by the pandemic, then the military coup, and the deep mourning of our old life that followed.

It is a book of remembering what was and what no longer is, what parts have since been healed, and what parts will always ache.

Connecting Our Story to the Stories of Other TCK Families

When We Called Myanmar Home is our own personal family story, but it is a story that can connect with the stories of other families too. It is designed to help Third Culture Kids process their cross-cultural life and share their own stories of joy and loss as they reflect on the question, “Where is home?”

Remembering past experiences together as a family is an emotional journey. But it is in remembering both the joys and the pains of the past where we can process our life experiences, create our unique family narrative, and move into a space of healing and renewed hope. This book helps create the space for those conversations and that healing to happen.

Family narratives help us process painful experiences and celebrate joyful ones. The stories we tell ourselves about who we are form our identity, create a healthy self-concept, and give us a sense of continuity and resilience. Family narratives cultivate a healthy soil for our children to plant roots again when they’ve been pulled up. These stories help us mourn all that we no longer have and at the same time help us remember all that we still do.

At the end of the book is a TCK Guide to help facilitate the processing of the “daily normal” that is lost for young children when they move between cultures. Remembering both the joy and the grief of what was lost gives voice to the feelings of the child.

The guide can be used by a loving parent or caring adult who is doing a debrief with a child. A free download of the processing chart is available on my website.

Connecting Our Story to Our Passport Culture

When We Called Myanmar Home is also designed to help kids from our passport culture ponder what life is like as a kid raised in a culture very different from their own. One challenge we have as cross-cultural workers is effectively communicating our story to our friends, family, and supporters.

This short book uses vivid watercolor pictures, sensory descriptions, and poetic language to evoke an emotional response and help people better empathize with our family story. This narrative will help people in our passport culture expand their worldview and see how experiences in life can be very similar and very different at the same time.

As we live and minister cross-culturally, our family culture is neither exactly like our passport culture nor exactly like our host culture. It is our own unique family culture representing what is valuable, meaningful, and most significant to us.

When We Called Myanmar Home is uniquely our family story, but it will create a space for you to tell your family narrative, too.

May it be a blessing to you, your Third Culture Kids, and all those who love you and your Third Culture Kids. May it show you a path forward as you process your own story, share your joys, and mourn your losses – for you are never alone on this Kingdom journey. We have a Father who walks with each of us, who understands loss and who can hold everything we bring to Him. May we find in Him our true home.

When We Called Myanmar Home is available now on Amazon.

Some in the West have defined the “unchurched” as people who are Christians but who are not connected with a church.

Sometimes I feel like I’m an unchurched missionary.

Our mission organization has a specific focus: fill the gaps in the Bible translation movement to reach the Bibleless and church-less people groups around the world. These are the last places that the Gospel has not yet reached. We set out to provide Scripture access to those without, to reach the unreached and to church the unchurched. It’s inspiring and exciting and daunting. 

But in going to these dark and lonely places with just our immediate family or a very small team, we can start to feel out of reach and unchurched ourselves. 

Perhaps you are in the same situation. Do you have a Christian community where you belong? 

Is there a pew with your name on it and a hand extended to greet you with the peace of Christ? Do you have a place where you can ask for prayers and confess sin? Do you have people who will bring you food when you are sick or send you a note when you’ve been absent for too many weeks? 

Or maybe you worship at a home church where you are the Sunday school teacher, worship leader, pray-er, and preacher. Do you long for a larger church where you are part of the body instead of being expected to fulfill all the roles of every part? 

Or maybe you are currently in your home country, but you also feel unchurched. 

You go to church – or to a different church – every week, but you don’t feel part of the church. Some people may hold you on a pedestal because you are the “missionary,” and some people may even know your name or the names of your kids, but it doesn’t feel like a community you belong to, at least not anymore. After spending significant time overseas, for many cross cultural workers, attending church in your home culture can be one of the more difficult aspects of reverse culture shock. 

For my young TCKs, it is really difficult for them to feel like they belong. Overseas when we attend a church, my husband and I can understand enough to follow along and participate, even when the practices are different from what we are used to. But our kids aren’t fluent in the local language, and the cultural practices are often jarring to them. The transitory life of cross-cultural living and the need to raise support and visit new people and new places can make TCKs feel unchurched even when they are in their passport country. What church do they belong to? Where are they seen and remembered as a member? 

For most of the last 10 years, we’ve met in our home as a family on Sundays, inviting our friends who are not yet Christians to join us. Our family times of worship are tender and sweet. It is beautiful to sit together singing a hymn or taking communion together as a family. I love hearing our little two- or three-year-old pray, and I love hearing our insightful ten-year-old ask a great question. Because of our isolation, we have developed strong family spiritual habits. 

But I miss church. 

I miss community and fellowship. I miss Bible classes that I’m not teaching. I even miss bad lobby coffee and too-much-food potlucks. I miss hugs from old ladies who tell me they’re praying for me and the knowing glances from other moms wrangling their two-year-olds in the back. 

But when I’m in my home country, I find that I still miss church. I miss feeling deeply connected to just one place rather than being spread out thin. I miss being seen not as someone coming to ask for money but as just another sheep in the flock. 

Going to the ends of the earth to translate scripture and bring the peace of God to a people group who hasn’t yet encountered Jesus is beautiful and holy work. But it’s lonely and isolating and changes us in ways that make it impossible to go back home the same, which can make home seem pretty lonely and isolating, too.

Maybe you are in a place and a season of life where you are really missing feeling deeply connected with a church, too. 

If so, here are five things that have not taken away the difficulty, but have helped me and my family when we start to feel disconnected and unchurched. 

1. Remember you aren’t alone (even when you feel like it). 

The story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 is so relatable to us cross cultural workers, isn’t it? We can pray to God, “I have had enough Lord,” and feel at times like we are completely alone as we serve God. We can be exhausted and need physical rest. We need to know God hears us and has not left us. We need God’s “gentle whisper” to remind us that He is with us and that we are not the only ones serving Him. God is with us, and we are not alone. He has many servants who are serving Him diligently. This is true around the world and in your home country. 

2. Stay connected to spiritual disciplines (even when you don’t feel like it). 

When our “job” is our ministry, it is even more important to stay connected to the Vine in our private, personal lives. Reading scripture, praying, fasting, confessing, giving, and practicing Sabbath rest are spiritual disciplines that can sustain us during the dry, isolating seasons and also the very demanding seasons of home assignments. Spiritual disciplines create space in our lives for God to show up and teach our hearts. We don’t always feel like doing these disciplines, but we do them as a submission to Christ, training ourselves for godliness (1 Timothy 4:7-8). If you have TCKs, creating rhythm and space in your life for spiritual disciplines (not just in your ministry activities or fundraising activities outside the home) is incredibly important for fostering authenticity in your Christian life.  

3. Create in-person community where you are with the resources you have (even if that means your “church” is made up of people who aren’t believers yet).

If you are feeling alone, look around you and identify the people who are already part of your life. How can you strengthen these relationships and create a true community? Are you sharing your needs or only meeting their needs? What needs do you have that this community could fill? How can you make the relationship give and take rather than just you giving and serving? When we didn’t have a group of Christians to meet with, we created a community from our friends, most of whom were still not yet Christians. This little home church group became our best friends and the people we called on when we needed help. We supported each other through griefs, trials, and difficulty. 

4. Stay connected with key people in your home country or home church (even when that means your “church” is really far away). 

With the Internet, it seems like it should be easy to stay connected to our home country friends, family, and churches. However, just because it is easily accessible doesn’t mean connection is easy to maintain. As time passes, it is easy to lose touch. People in your home country may be very busy, and you may be very busy or in a difficult time zone for connection. So, identify key people in your home church who seem to genuinely want to encourage you. Make an effort to send them personal messages beyond what you send out in a newsletter or post on social media, and make sure to encourage them and ask about their life, too. 

Watch the worship service from your home church online. During covid many churches began streaming their worship times and Bible classes. Allow your TCKs to maintain ties to your home church and special friends, too, by arranging online messages and meetups for younger kids and encouraging older kids to stay connected through safe online communication. 

5. Stay connected to online communities like A Life Overseas (even when you don’t know the people in “real life”). 

I’m so thankful for the encouragement I’ve received from ALO, social media groups, and godly individuals I’ve met online but have never met in “real life.” Our kids are also part of a TCK group within our organization composed of kids all over the world. They meet over Zoom to have silly parties, talk about American culture, have Bible study, and be reminded that there are other kids just like them.

Online communities can sometimes get a bad rap because it “isn’t real life,” but these safe places can offer perspective and encouragement and create connections that can be a huge blessing when facing isolating situations. (If you’ve been blessed by the ministry of A Life Overseas, consider donating to keep the site running.)

God created us to live in community, but finding community as a global worker can be hard. Sometimes we missionaries feel unchurched ourselves.

So as we thank God for the community we do have, whether in our host country or our home country, may we look to God to meet our needs and the needs of our TCKs. May we trust Him to bring people into our lives who will provide community, whatever that looks like in the season we’re in. And may we look to Him always for the reminder that we never walk alone.