What a waste. Or at least on the surface it could seem like it.
A woman comes to Jesus and dumps expensive perfume on His body. The smell, even though overpowering in the room for a short time, wouldn’t last long. Jesus would walk out the door and get His feet dirty again. The value of the perfume was gone immediately. Would there even be any lasting effects of her expensive gift? What was the point of her sacrifice?
Our modern-day sacrifices for Jesus can also seem like a waste on the surface to others.
Maybe you wake up every morning at 5 a.m. to open your Bible, sip your coffee, and sit quietly before no one as you watch the sunrise. You write your prayers or say them. Sometimes you “feel” something, sometimes you hear something, sometimes you don’t. Yet you sit there every morning for an hour doing nothing. Is that a waste?
Maybe you fast from food and seek God’s intervention. Sometimes you receive an answer immediately. Sometimes, you’ve been fasting and praying consistently for the same thing for months, and you haven’t seen any noticeable differences. Is that a waste?
Maybe you continue to pray for the salvation of a people group, or a friend, family member, or neighbor. You pray and pray. You aren’t sure if your prayers are heard by God or if the situation will ever change. Is that a waste?
Maybe you serve doing a job no one else wants to do and no one else appreciates. No one sees you do it and no one says thank you. Is that a waste?
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. ‘Why this waste?’ they asked. ‘This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” Aware of this, Jesus said to them, ‘Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. . . . Truly I tell you wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her. (Matthew 26:8-13)
What have I given to Jesus that is seen as a complete waste?
My favorite way to describe spiritual practices that engage us in time with God is “wasting time with God.” Listening in prayer, reading Scripture, fasting, giving, serving, and praying for others can all be things we do to “waste time” with God.
Just like I “waste” time with my best friend or my children. I don’t have to be doing anything or accomplishing anything I can measure. I simply “am” with the other person. God doesn’t have to respond to everything I have on my mind. He doesn’t have to answer all my prayers in my timing. I am not in control of Him. He looks on me with love, and I receive His love as I “waste” my time with Him.
But I don’t just waste my time with God in the mornings during specific spiritual practices. I’ve wasted a lot of my life, too. At least it can look like that from the outside.
I’ve wasted over thirteen years of my life in Asia doing a hard, slow work. We’ve seen some fruit, but it isn’t flashy or valuable in much of the world’s eyes. God has produced what fruit we’ve seen, and we can’t even take any credit for it. He has received all the glory.
Like the critical disciples, I think often we are judged by what “could have been” had we used our gifts for Jesus differently.
We could have been actually using our degrees. We could have been financially independent and more in control of our lives rather than relying on the mercy of God and the generosity of others. We could have spared our kids the confusion of always having their hearts in two places. We could have spared ourselves the complication of loving our home and loving a people who continue to see us as not ever truly fitting in. We could have.
But I don’t regret the way I’ve wasted my life. I don’t regret the way I waste my early mornings. I don’t regret the way I’ve wasted whatever worldly gifts or opportunities for income I’ve had. I don’t regret wasting my college degree only doing secular work for four years and then spending my life living on support month to month. I don’t regret wasting my prayers on situations and people that haven’t changed in ways I can see on the surface.
I don’t regret the way I’ve wasted myself for Jesus. I don’t regret wasting anything I’ve given when I’ve given it in love.
And yet, the “indignant” comments from Jesus’ other followers do hurt. The way some think my gifts could have been better spent elsewhere or given to someone else more needy. Some may accuse me of wasting my gifts, being irresponsible, not doing the right thing with something so valuable.
I’ve adjusted my perspective because I believe with my whole heart that God led my family exactly where we were supposed to be doing exactly the work He wanted us to do, despite the lack of flashy fruit to show off for it. We tried to be faithful in everything God put before us.
Looking back, I can see that the biggest fruit God produced was the fruit He produced in me in my own purifying and transformation. All along, it wasn’t what I did for God or gave for God; it was the love I offered to God that mattered most to Him.
This month we are entering the church’s season of Lent. Many people make commitments to spend time with God in prayer, to sacrifice something for God, or to give something to God.
What can you “waste” for God over these next weeks as a gift of love to Him? What small thing can you do with great love? As Mother Teresa reminded us, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
Sometimes I need to be reminded that all that I have “wasted” for God, God sees as a beautiful thing. He knows all my sacrifices, little and big. He knows all the challenges we’ve been through. He knows all the times I chose faithfulness over comfort and trust over my worldly idols. He sees my small gifts given to Him out of love. And while others may be indignant, my Jesus calls my sacrifice beautiful.
