When asked what’s challenging about being a missionary, one of the top responses is “all of the goodbyes.” Between changing assignments, medical situations, home assignments, family needs, and the Lord redirecting, we say a lot of goodbyes.
Having a goodbye liturgy helps to combat goodbye fatigue and keep your heart tender to receive those who will enter the next chapter of your life.
While this can be used at any time, with the end of the academic year around the corner, I’ve been thinking about the goodbyes you’ll be saying.
Here’s how to use the Goodby Liturgy:
1—Set a time to officially “say goodbye.” Even if some are resistant or say they are too busy, this is important.
2—It’s okay to start off your time by saying, “This is hard to do.” It’s good to name this.
3—The first part of the Goodbye Liturgy is an Active Lament. Depending on the person and situation, your active lament can involve any of these parts of a lament: address, complain, request, and praise/thanks.
Address: You can simply state what is happening. Your TCK is leaving the nest and taking the next step of further study or getting a job. Parents are aging an in need of your physical presence. God is redirecting and opening doors. Often there are reasons that might not be appropriate to share in all settings like organizational politics or shifting beliefs. If you can’t address those reasons in a public setting, find ways you can address them.
Complain: You can complain about what you’ll miss or the injustice of why someone is needing to leave.
Request: What do you request from God or the person after they leave?
Praise/Thanks: Name a few of the ways that you are grateful this time for the Goodbye Liturgy
4—The second part of the Goodbye Liturgy allows all parties present express at least these three things:
a. What growth you have seen in the person who is leaving
b. What longings you have for the departing member
c. How the departing member has changed your life
5—The final part is a short blessing for the person who is leaving
The goodbyes get old, very old. I’m reminded of Galatians 6: 8-10.
“Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
The goodbyes get old, but if you use this Goodbye Liturgy (or some other way of leaning into the goodbyes), you will reap a harvest. As you read this article, think through of the goodbyes you have in the upcoming months and pull out your calendar or send a text to get a Goodbye Liturgy on your calendar. This is too important of an opportunity to get lost before the departure date.
