by Nadine Gascho
Editor’s Note: I have been greatly blessed by the ministry of spiritual direction. Although counseling is a wonderful modality that we have often encouraged at A Life Overseas, it is not the only avenue for accessing help when a person feels stuck spiritually and emotionally. As we begin this new year, I’m excited to highlight other pathways to emotional and spiritual health. ~Elizabeth Trotter
As a missionary or cross-cultural worker, have any of these thoughts ever crossed your mind?
- “I feel like such a hypocrite: I am constantly teaching about the Lord, yet, feel so dry spiritually.”
- “I am tired of having to navigate the cross-cultural expectations of my team and culture.”
- “I have been hurt by others, and there is no one to tell how I am truly feeling.”
- “I tell others that God loves them, but do I believe that at a deep heart level for myself?”
If you have felt any of the above, then I want to reassure you that you are not alone. As a missionary myself, I have personally experienced the above, and, as a spiritual director to missionaries, I often hear these words expressed. As cross-cultural workers, we are generally so convinced of the call of God on our lives that we often persevere for years, not recognizing the toll that ministry is taking on our hearts and our relationship with the Lord.
“What is spiritual direction?” you may ask. One helpful definition for you to consider:
“Spiritual direction is a prayer process in which a person seeking help in cultivating a deeper relationship with God meets with another for prayer and conversation that is focused on increasing awareness of God in the midst of life experiences and facilitating surrender to God’s will.” (David Benner, Sacred Companions, 2002)
As missionaries, we are passionate about following the call of God. We long to glorify God all the days of our lives. Sadly, over time, we often lose that excitement we felt during our early days overseas. I wonder how much of that could be attributed to the pressure to produce fruit?
What if we, as ministers of the gospel, return to the model that was demonstrated for us in Jesus’s life? In the expression of His belovedness from His Father at His baptism, Jesus received total affirmation and validation for who He was — before ever engaging in full-time ministry. (Trevor Hudson & Jerry P. Haas, Cycle of Grace: Living in Sacred Balance, 2012).
From my experience, spiritual direction, as a ministry, is an opportunity to listen for, encounter, and receive God’s love: hearing truths from His Word and through the spiritual director’s compassionate and attentive listening. In the sharing of our stories, we are welcomed and loved. We grow in confidence, trusting in God’s character and in our unique God-given design.
Over time, as we grow in receiving His love on a daily basis, we see evidence of the Spirit’s slow work of transformation. We begin to let go of our need ‘to do, to perform, to strive’ to gain God’s or others’ approval in our ministry. We become freer to offer from a more restful place, from receiving His love and then giving it away. We grow in learning to let go of an unhealthy dependence on producing fruit, trusting that it will come, as we “abide in Jesus” and His love (see John 15).
Here is a recent quote from one of my missionary directees:
“Spiritual direction reminds me that everything in life flows out of knowing our belovedness in God and not just focusing on outward ministry markers. The process also brings healing from trauma such as constantly adjusting to challenging changes and handling disappointments. Over time, there’s a shift from striving to ‘do’ ministry out of ‘shoulds,’ but rather abiding in Him, trusting for fruits that will last.”
A common theme for cross-cultural workers is that they feel isolated. You may feel incredibly alone on this journey. As a spiritual director, I consider it a privilege to come alongside missionaries, prayerfully accompanying them, as they share vulnerably and honestly. Having a space to process the challenges of life overseas (sickness, the pain of conflict, traumatic events, constant ‘good-byes’ that involve much loss and grief, etc.) becomes a life-giving resource and support for many.
Here’s what another one of my missionary directees says about the process:
“Spiritual direction gives me a consistent place to recognize God’s presence in the elements of life. Even when the elements are seemingly broken pieces, there is a testimony of God that often emerges and strengthens me to continue to live into His story of faithfulness and love. There is a calming, a peace and a focus that settles my heart in being able to name the challenges of life and God in the midst of it all.”
In the midst of the many trials of life overseas, spiritual direction gives us the opportunity to pay attention to our hearts. It offers us a safe space to process our feelings, to examine what is below the surface, to consider how emotions may be impacting our lives (including what’s happening within our bodies), while also meeting Jesus right where we are.
Maybe for the first time in our lives, we are given permission to reflect on the longings of our hearts, considering what our soul most needs. We begin to discover that ultimately, these desires speak to our passion for a deeper relationship with the Lord. Another missionary directee says:
“As a missionary and a mom of three teenagers, I spend a large amount of time moving quickly through my day, making myself available and flexible to come alongside others. What a gift it has been to receive spiritual direction… a safe and spacious place for me to untangle my heart from fears and from heavy burdens. I so appreciate [my spiritual director’s] listening ear and her spirit-led questions that help me access the deeper layers of my heart and the God-given desires that dwell there.”
As we grow in paying attention to our hearts in the presence of the Lord and with a spiritual director, we begin to untangle the cross-cultural web that can be wrapped around our hearts. In the naming of our emotions, we acknowledge the hurt of broken relationships. As we pause, listening for how the Holy Spirit wants to come, we receive the deep touch of God in our hearts.
His love, His validation, enables us to take responsibility for what is ours (often unmet expectations and cross-cultural misunderstandings), while releasing what remains to Jesus. God’s shalom, that sense of well-being that “strengthens our souls” (Ps. 138:3 NRSV) enables us to more freely re-enter those relationships from a place of rest.
We notice that God’s filling begins to impact all areas of our lives. In spiritual direction, as we continue to encounter God’s love, we discover that there are healthier ways to do life and ministry. This may mean slowing down, stilling our hearts, listening for and responding to that still, small voice of God.
In spiritual direction, we discover ways to more deeply connect with the Lord, while listening for what is most true within our hearts. For example, we may connect with Him through Biblical meditation, silence, solitude, honouring the Sabbath, retreat, nature, worship, art, creativity, or dance. We explore practices that are both life-giving and sustainable for us personally, based on our cross-cultural context.
One directee reflects:
“Meeting with a spiritual director has helped me to slow down and pay attention to what is going on inside of me — something that can be hard for ministry people to do even with a dedicated morning time.”
Another writes:
“Spiritual Direction is like a ‘tune-up’ or a spiritual checkup. When it is time for our session, I think ‘maybe I don’t need this,’ but when I am finished, I feel like a weight has been lifted as I am brought to a place with God that is healthier than before we met. For me this is healthy soul care, and it refreshes my soul, helps me thrive and stay in tune to God’s will and purposes for me. I would recommend this to anyone, especially for those in ministry who are giving out and pouring into others; this gives a time to receive and refill.”
Today, I am curious as to how you might respond to the following questions:
How might Jesus be inviting you to meet with Him in the midst of your busy ministry?
What if, in this season, He is calling you to share with others from a posture of fullness, being filled with His love each day?
Could this be a season for you to receive the gift of ongoing support and encouragement, through spiritual direction?
I wonder how this might transform the way you are being invited into life and ministry, for the glory of God?
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Having lived and ministered in many nations (as a TCK in Zambia and then serving with Youth With A Mission in Australia, Malaysia, Scotland, and BC, Canada), Nadine now lives in Ontario, Canada. After years of being single in ministry, she now is married and a grandmother of nine. Her current ministry focus is in Member Care and primarily in offering Spiritual Direction to missionaries. She also is involved in training missionaries to become spiritual directors. As a life-long learner, she enjoys relating with others through ethnic foods, books, and cozy coffee shops. She most deeply connects with God through Scripture, being out in nature, in silence, and through corporate worship.
