Culture shock, day 1 of 1,095.
On my first day as a missionary, while riding from the airport to my new home in the obscurities of East Africa, I suddenly had this overwhelming sense—“What have I gotten myself into?!” Full-blown panic attacks always make me want to run. But in this case I did not run. I did not say anything. I rode in silence, deeply troubled but unable to explain why.
Culture shock, day 1,095 of 1,095.
On my last day as a missionary, while packing up my belongings, I verbally exploded on some of my closest national friends (and members of a church I had been planting). Years of complex relational dynamics that had gone unaddressed suddenly erupted in a way that stunned all of us. I spent my last hours in the country trying to clean up the mess.
The Inevitable Shock
I hope these glimpses into my story communicate at least a couple of things. First, that culture shock is an inevitable struggle that stretches from the beginning to the end of cross-cultural service. It’s not something that can be completely avoided through preparation or overcome through expertise. To serve as a missionary is to embrace a lifestyle of dying to self (see Luke 9:23; Acts 9:16; Romans 8:36; Hebrews 5:8). Laying down one’s culture in order to take up another is especially death-laden. Thus culture shock is a natural part of the journey.
Second, I hope that it communicates how culture shock is unique to each person and each circumstance. I’m not certain of the term’s origin, but I would imagine the word “shock” reflects the surprising nature of the phenomenon. Sometimes the cause of the disorientation is hard to see, and the missionary’s response is hard to predict. Perhaps you are surprised by my reactions described above. Perhaps you would be surprised by your own! Immersing oneself in another culture is really the only way to find out. And that is why culture shock can be somewhat intangible.
Thankfully, however, there are many things about culture shock that are tangible. This means there are ways to help missionaries navigate it. Yes, unaddressed culture shock can embitter the missionary’s soul, sour their relationships, and bring them home prematurely. But culture shock addressed well can have the opposite effect. In the Father’s hands, it can be pruning that bears much fruit.
The Addressable Shock
In order for culture shock to be a matter of pruning (rather than severing the whole vine), there are ways that Christians and churches can help. At the heart of this kind of support is relationship. We can most effectively help missionaries navigate culture shock in the context of ongoing, reciprocal relationships. Here are some important expressions of such relationships (which you can utilize and/or train others in your church to utilize):
Be compassionate. Listening to someone pour out their frustrations that come from culture shock—especially when you are outside that cultural context—can itself be a challenging experience. The interactions may be a bit of a rollercoaster. Furthermore, when the processes of culture shock and fatigue drag on, you might be tempted to lose compassion. But being a safe place for missionaries to honestly share could be all they need.
Ask good questions. Take a deep interest in them. Don’t settle for surface conversations. Ask questions that go beyond the culture itself. This may include inquiring about their physical health (diet, sleep, exercise); marriage; children; hobbies; rhythms of rest (Sabbath, vacations, etc.); relationships with the church, agency, teammates, and locals; and anything else that you think might draw them out. If nothing else, this may help them to see life beyond the culture.
Listen actively. When you’re asking these questions, be sure to listen well. This means fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing. It’s listening with spiritual sensitivity. You may have heard the counsel in marriage (especially for husbands), “Don’t just listen to what she says, listen to what she means.” This may allow you to read between the lines, draw out the deeper troubles, and minister to the soul.
Do not fix. As much as possible, refrain from giving advice. It’s tempting in such conversations to try to fix the situation. However, remember that God is working to bring life out of the missionaries’ death to cultural preferences. That is a process you can support, but not suddenly resolve. If they ask your perspective, then share. If you are burdened to suggest something, ask first (“Would it be ok if I share a thought about this?”). And by no means resort to the unfortunately common statement, “Well, why don’t you just return home?”
Recognize the signs. Sometimes missionaries will lack the self-awareness or willingness to share their culture shock with you. Therefore it’s important to be on the lookout for signs of trouble. Some of them include a prolonged lack of response to your communication, experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, complete denial of any problems with the new culture, withdrawal into enclaves from the culture, frequently using “us” and “them” language, and making seemingly irrational decisions. If you begin to see these signs, pray and press in gently rather than assuming everything is fine.
Encourage with the gospel. Missions is often defined as the movement of the gospel through us. But a more holistic understanding of missions is the gospel also flowing in us. In fact, if the work of the gospel does not continue to conform us to the image of Christ, then it limits our ability to bless others. Thus when you are helping missionaries navigate culture shock, the goal isn’t simply to keep them on the field. The goal is to keep them abiding in Christ. The best way to do that is to point them to Jesus and his unshakeable love for them.
The Overcomable Shock
I walked through 1,095 days of culture shock—and lived to tell the tale. What a gift it was to have loving relationships that helped me survive the rollercoaster. But I didn’t just survive—I died! That’s right, I died to my cultural preferences, to my pride, to my self-dependence. And I came more alive to Christ and to a culture that was not my own.
Imagine the joy of enabling missionaries to overcome the shock that claims so many. It’s the profound work of seeing them die to themselves, thrive in a foreign culture, and make disciples among the nations. The apostle John described this kind of support as being “fellow workers for the truth” (3 John 1:8). What a privilege to be more than just an appreciated supporter and to become an integral part of God’s mission to the world.
