Her baby was nestled up to her, sleeping soundly despite the drumming coming from the church. I smiled as I approached her, reminiscing of days when my children were that small and snuggly. We chatted for a few minutes, and she shared that she felt bad arriving late, but was adjusting to a new sleep schedule with her baby.
I reassured her that taking care of her little one was more than enough in her new season of motherhood and being relatively new to the country herself. Of course, I find it’s always easier to encourage others, when after nearly a decade on the field, I still struggle sometimes.
From within the brick and cement, the thatched roof, and the wooden walls of a home made from scratch, ministry abroad looks quite different. It’s found in changing diapers, in preparing meals from limited ingredients, and in the slow days of teaching children to read. It’s there in the adapting, the trying, the recreating, the struggling, the failing, and the persevering. It’s filled with young mothers and those who are years deep into motherhood, who may be asking themselves, like me, “Lord, is this enough?”
In my mid-twenties, I spent a year serving abroad in Northern Uganda. I had the freedom to leave early or come home late, and I filled up my time with as many things as I could. I helped in a seventh-grade class and taught art at a primary school a few days a week. Then there was the discipleship group I led in the late afternoons, weekly gatherings with a small group of girls I mentored, the children’s home I volunteered in, and a lively Bible study with a group of tailors in the market.
“Lord, is this enough?”
Now, after nearly a decade on the field, this question still hovers like an overcast sky in the back of my mind. Honestly, every now and again, I find myself wondering if I’m doing enough. Sure, I took the big leap and answered the Lord’s call. I sold off many things, packed up my previous life, said many tear-filled goodbyes, and ventured out across the seas to form new roots and serve in a culture different from the one I was born in. However, the second time around I was no longer single, and I did it as a wife and a new mom.
Those first weeks after arriving with our twelve-month-old were completely overwhelming, despite my having lived in Uganda before. I found myself desperately trying to keep him away from snacking on cockroaches and cautiously anticipating his falls as he learned to toddle across the slick tile floors. I shooed away the neighbor’s chickens when they wandered into the living room and was overly anxious about making sure the mosquito net was tucked in around his crib.
I feared malaria, desperately fought off homesickness, and felt the loneliness of our new life far from the comfort of support. I was in cultural overload, adapting to serving abroad in a new role and struggling to create a new home abroad.
And yet, even in the sleepless nights with a toddler teething, I was asking, “Lord, is this enough?”
My mission hasn’t changed all that much over the years. It’s to collect leftover crumbs from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches off our speckled cement countertop. It’s to stay on top of laundry, anticipating whether or not the rain will hold off as we hang our clothes on the line. It’s to teach my own children while surrounded by the wild bush, and to create a home away from home where we can all grow roots deep and flourish well.
But is it enough?
Ultimately, we are all called to love the Lord and love others. God’s heart is for those who need to know Him and grow in deeper in Him — and His heart is also for our children. Isaiah 40:11 serves as such a wonderful reminder of what a treasure and absolute gift it is to serve my family as we serve abroad. It’s also a beautiful picture of how He cares for me.
He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
He gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:11)
Even now, I can hear the a cappella worship drifting in through the screened windows of our red brick house. A new group of students has arrived for this year’s discipleship course, and they’ve gathered together to begin their first week of class. While my husband serves our local community through teaching, discipleship, and leading a ministry less than a hundred feet away, I need reminders that the ministry the Lord has placed in my hands is no less important.
The following reflection questions have helped me as I learn to embrace the ministry of home, and perhaps they will bring encouragement to you too.
How is the Lord using motherhood to root me deeper in Him?
How am I using my gifts and skills to serve the Lord in this season of motherhood?
How can I use my home as a place to minister to others?
What new areas of ministry may the Lord be opening my heart to in this season?
Surprisingly, the Lord is bringing new opportunities right to our doorstep this year. Not only for a way to serve our community outside the walls of our home, but to do it alongside our three growing children. This is a new season for us. And while serving overseas does look very different for me as a mom compared to my early days serving in Uganda, there is an impactful ministry the Lord is calling forth, right here in the everyday mission of motherhood and home.
May He encourage our hearts when we struggle. May He be our comfort when we feel unsettled. May He continue to carry our children close to His heart. May He be our shepherd, leading us in every way.
May the Lord continue to guide us in this ministry of motherhood and home as we serve abroad, and may we continue to grow deeper in Him as we disciple and love those in our care. May we discover that not only is it enough, but that we are right where He has transplanted us to be.
