Editor’s Note: The process of coaching has been very helpful to me over the past few years. Although counseling is a wonderful modality that we have often encouraged at A Life Overseas, it is not the only avenue for accessing help when we feel “stuck” in life. As Jenilee explains below, coaching might be a good fit for you this year. ~Elizabeth Trotter
As January begins, most of us are planning and preparing for the upcoming year. The new year brings a fresh start, a sense of something different, and a hope that big changes can be made in personal growth, health, relationships, and professional life.
A new year gives everyone a chance to evaluate, set goals, and chart next steps. It’s a time to look back and forward, to reflect and renew, to work out the year with projects, schedules, lists, and goals.
Although well-meaning, this process can feel overwhelming and daunting. Everyone is talking about it, planning a word for the year, and discussing their upcoming goals. Yet in the back of our minds, we know that most people start but don’t finish, plan but don’t execute, talk but don’t take the steps needed to accomplish all the things they’ve talked about.
A year can pass quickly, and we can end up right where we started, wondering how the months went by without getting to what we’d planned to work on or complete.
With the added layers of overseas life, this can be frustratingly true for global workers. The busyness, paperwork, travel, deadlines, government visits, language barriers, and the agonizingly slow pace of checking things off the list each day can make extra goals or hopes seem to fade into the background.
Maybe next year. Maybe one day. Maybe after this season or after these challenges pass. Maybe then.
I’d love to tell you to just do it, get it done, finish strong. I wish I could give you a step-by-step process to muster up enough motivation and willpower to do all the things you hope to do in a day. I wish there were a magic pill for extra capacity when needed.
Unfortunately, real life doesn’t work that way. We can’t just muster up the amount of willpower needed to get it all done, do all the things, or finish all the projects. It’s just not possible to wish capacity into existence.
With the craziness, stress, tension, unexpected decisions, unknown challenges, and random tasks that arise in a day overseas, energy often seems to poof into thin air by lunchtime. On an average day, there isn’t much time or energy left for personal growth, rest, sabbath, quiet time, vacation, personal development, family time, or hobbies.
What if someone could walk with you in your struggles? What if a life coach could help?
A coach can ask questions, hear the whole story, talk through the process, navigate next steps, and build manageable, sustainable goals that work in your current context. You might not be able to will or muster it all on your own, but adding a life coach to your plans can help you with small changes that will lead to sustainable growth.
The idea of having a life coach might be a new concept. You might have questions:
What is life coaching?
How is it different from counseling?
Why do I need a coach?
What do coaches do?
In simplest terms, a coach helps with looking ahead, moving forward, and talking about next steps. A counselor helps with looking back, addressing trauma, and working through past hurt.
According to the International Christian Coaching Institute, “Coaches help people shape new vision and plans, create a sense of purpose, and establish appropriate goals and objectives to generate desired results.”
A coach can help walk back through your story in ways that help you move forward, directing you to a counselor if therapy is needed. A counselor can refer you to a coach as you work on the things you’re learning or processing in counseling.
Having one or both can be a healthy, holistic way to address roadblocks, challenges, and burnout. Coaching and counseling can work really well together or separately, depending on what you need.
As a certified, professional life coach who has also served overseas, I love walking and working with global workers as they sort through their story, find ways to move forward, and dive into personal growth.
I’ve been so thankful in my own life for those who have listened, held my story, patiently coached, wisely counseled, and deeply challenged me towards personal growth and healing.
I’ve walked through seasons when I needed people to ask me difficult questions and push hard conversations. I’ve needed an outside voice and perspective to shed light on situations and speak truth into dark places.
There can be so few places and people who understand the challenges of living and working cross-culturally, who can help with the complexities of it all. It was in reaching out to help from coaches who understood my specific situation that I felt heard and had the space to heal, grow, and learn.
A coach can help with problem solving and skill building. A coach can bring a new perspective and ask good questions related to relationships and teams. Having a coach brings needed accountability and a safe space process all the extra layers of overseas life, marriage, and parenting. Coaches are very helpful as you navigate burnout, do a capacity audit, or work through your current mental load.
Then there are special needs like neurodiversity, ADHD, children’s schooling, or health issues. There are times of moving, furlough, fundraising, networking, and transition. These things take planning and preparation that can feel daunting. A coach can help plan and prepare with you.
A coach brings tools, questions, and plans for personal growth and spiritual formation. They can bring the necessary external push for motivation. A coach can challenge in ways to build resilience, aid in decision making, and facilitate step-by-step processes that are unique to your specific season and place.
There are many ways that having someone like this to speak into your life or help walk through the days with you can be beneficial as you begin a new year. As you make dreams and plans for the next year, ask yourself the following questions:
How do I want to grow?
What do I want to work on?
What challenges am I facing?
What story do I need to share with a safe someone?
Whether choosing a life coach, mentor, counselor, or spiritual director, finding the right person can be challenging. Depending on the situation, you might even need to build a healing team to carry the burden with you and encourage you on the journey.
As you think through the upcoming year and look at the ways you want to grow or the challenges you face, consider how having a life coach could help. Someone could walk the year with you, helping you to sustainably and realistically navigate everything that you face on the field.
Because with all the fears and frustrations and intensity that come with global work, the good news is that you don’t have to walk through it alone.
