Interview – A Life Overseas |

For Those Who Wait {Which is all of us!}

Today I’m excited to talk with Tanya Marlow author of Those Who Wait: Finding God In Disappointment, Doubt, And Delay. Years ago Tanya asked me to guest post for her God and Suffering series. (That series, by the way, is a gold mine.) Over the years, Tanya and I have become friends, real friends. We’ve never met in person, but you can see why I’m drawn to Tanya, she doesn’t dodge the questions many wonder about. Read to the end for a surprise. Without further ado, my conversation with Tanya.

Tell us a bit about your background. What did you dream your life would be like?

I was a typical good-Christian-girl, wanting to live my life for God and serve God in full-time Christian ministry. As a kid, I thought my calling was in cross-cultural work overseas. (This may have been because it was viewed as the ‘highest calling’ in Christian circles, with maximum holiness points. Although my motives were relatively pure in wanting to serve God, they may have been tinged with little compassion-competitiveness….!)

I didn’t end up overseas, but by my twenties, I was happy. I was living my dream of working fulltime as a Christian minister, lecturing in Biblical Theology, happily married to someone also in Christian ministry.

Then chronic illness struck me, and my life was turned upside down.

How has the whole issue of waiting featured in your life?

In 2010, I gained a baby and a disability. I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), an autoimmune condition which affects every cell in my body, like a giant faulty battery. Before, I was active and fit – now I can barely walk around the house, and need to lie in bed 21 hours a day. Before, I was seeing people all the time, speaking and pastoring: now my ministry has morphed into the few words I can tap out from my bed in a week.

There’s no real treatment for ME, and the illness is underfunded and under-researched. There’s a very slim possibility of full recovery, and I could deteriorate further, like so many other bedbound ME patients.

A new Oscar-tipped documentary, Unrest, tells the story of what it’s like to live with ME. Your life becomes an eternal semi-colon, stuck on pause while the world continues around you.

I wait for improvement, I wait for deterioration. I’m stuck in the middle, living in uncertainty.

For seven years, I have grieved my old life. Often I have felt laid aside and rejected, and I’ve railed at God for my new prison.

It’s been hard – excruciatingly hard at times – but I’ve discovered something of God’s hidden kindness in barren places.

Why do you think the issue of waiting is particularly pertinent for people living overseas?

Although I never quite made it to overseas work (and ended up marrying a Church of England vicar in my native Britain), I still have the most respect for those in that sector, and have long been an enthusiastic supporter of those called to serve abroad.

To be in cross-cultural work is to be in-between, always. A life overseas is a continuous state of waiting:

to feel settled,
to return home,
to be able to understand the language instead of feeling stupid,
to stop crying at night from homesickness,
to feel like an intelligent person again who has something to offer society,
for the kids to be happy,
for fruit to show
for letters and emails to arrive
for the money to come through
for a home and place to belong.

Waiting is hard. To be in a liminal, in-between state for a short time is discomfiting and exhausting. To be in a season of waiting for decades can be soul-crushing.

Because Those Who Wait is honest about the reality and discomfort of waiting, I hope it can be a source of encouragement for those who feel exhausted with living in an in-between state.

Why choose the four heroes that you did? Why not others? What drew you to these four?

I was drawn to the liturgical season of Advent, particularly the lightning of the Advent candles.

The first candle stands for the Patriachs. I chose a ‘matriarch’, Sarah. Through her story, we deal with disappointment and bitterness, waiting for joy and fulfilled promises.

The second candle represents the Prophets, so I chose Isaiah. We rarely think of him as a person, rather than just a prophetic mouthpiece. I wanted to explore the personal cost of his truth-telling, and through that how we with delay and frustration as we wait for justice and peace in our land.

John the Baptist is the next candle. Through his story, we explore our struggle with doubt as we wait to live out our life’s calling.

And Mary, mother of Jesus’ story is the story of all humanity – dealing with disgrace and isolation as we wait for Jesus’ coming.

Advent is a season that celebrates and marks the discomfort of waiting, as we consider how the saints waited for Jesus’ appearance, and how we long for this world to be restored at Jesus’ second coming.

Advent gives us permission to name our deepest longings, and lament that this world is not as it should be. Those Who Wait can be read at any point, but the Advent season really speaks to our waiting journey, and the book is structured in 24 short chapters. Many readers of Those Who Wait are saving their books to savour through Advent.

I wanted to explore these issues through story, like an engaging novel, because it’s through re-entering the story God can speak to our souls in new ways. It’s always good to remember that our revered Christian heroes are actually human – and the Bible is more honest than we are about the struggle of waiting.

Which section did you enjoy writing most?

Like your own children, you’re not supposed to have favourite characters. (But mine’s John the Baptist.)

In any other period of history he would have been revered as THE prophet of God – but he was overshadowed by his cousin, then waited for years in prison before his traumatic death at the hands of Herod.

Where was God in his waiting and suffering? This is the question that drove me. What really surprised me was the kindness of God to John – and to us. Through writing Those Who Wait, I discovered that God is in the waiting with us, groaning with us, being merciful in unexpected ways, if we can only pause to spot it.

What is your hope for this book?

My hope is that churches, organisations and small groups can meet around this book (there are reflective exercises, group questions and even six Bible studies), and that through the journey they will be able to work through their own discomfort, disappointment or doubt that accompany seasons of waiting.

For people long-jaded by the same old sermons and Bible stories, I hope it will reignite a passion for the honesty and dynamism of the Bible..

Most of all, I pray that readers will encounter God in these pages and find it transformational. May it bring perspective, purpose and empathy for weary hearts, and may God always meet us in the waiting place. This is my prayer.

Tanya, thanks for sharing a bit of your journey as an author and Christian with us.

What are you waiting for? Which of the four Biblical heroes can you relate to now? Leave a comment and you might win a copy of Tanya’s book. Winners will be notified by Sunday.

How Does Working with Human Trafficking impact a heart, a marriage, and parenting?

I am delighted today to share a conversation with my friend Lauren Pinkston. Lauren is married and has a delightful toddler who will soon become a big sister through international adoption. Lauren is super energetic, fun, and so graciously open to chatting. She and her family live in Southeast Asia and work with human trafficking. I wanted to talk with her because I wondered how working with human trafficking impacts other aspects of being a Christian and a human.

Lauren, first of all I love chatting about these kind of topics and I know you do too. Please share a little bit about where you live and the work you do a little bit about where you live and the work you do.

I live in a creative access country in SE Asia, so it is really difficult to talk about what I do. Based on the audience reading this interview, I believe people will understand the heart behind all the dreams I have for my work in this place. I am also greatly bent towards justice, so other than praying like crazy for Good News to be spread, I want to see physical redemption brought to the people of this land.

I work in the mornings at the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, where I’m writing my dissertation and researching human trafficking patterns in the area. In the afternoons, I direct a new social enterprise where we employ women who are seeking safe work…from girls in safe houses to women actually running brothels. We believe that if we rescue one girl from human trafficking, we will be opening up a spot for other girls to be victimized. So, slowly, we are developing relationships with brothel owners and offering employment if they shut down their business as usual and reopen their business as a handicraft co-op.

Being a wife and mom are my full-time, fun jobs. : )

Human trafficking seems so dark, I think many don’t even know how to approach the subject. What have you learned about darkness from your work? Paradoxically, how is it not as dark as you thought?

You know, there really is so much darkness. Just last week I sat across the table from a woman who answered a phone call from a man looking to buy a prostitute for the night. As I listened to her talk so casually about selling another woman’s body, I got so angry on the inside it took everything in me not to turn the table over and scream at her to get out of my workspace.

It reminded me of just how blatantly evil walks around on this earth, and how as Believers we forget about it. We stay tucked away in our comfortable faith communities where people understand us and think like us and welcome us. We do this even on ‘the field.’ I’m guilty! We just simply forget that the majority of the world is living unthinkable realities every day.

On the flip-side, I’ve seen how truly resilient humans are. It’s incredible to see the young girls we’ve employed giggling, running around, and going about their daily lives as if they haven’t experienced the horrible abuses they once knew. His redemption really can blot out painful pasts, and I am so thankful I get to witness this first-hand.

How has working with human trafficking impacted your marriage (for good, or maybe in ways that have surprised you?)?

I can honestly say that there are good and bad ways that this work has affected my marriage. Some days I am so disgusted by the stories I read and the things I see that I don’t have many positive things to say about men. Some days I am so emotionally tired that I have nothing left when I come home. And some days I can’t think about intimacy because the images and filth I’ve encountered are stronger than the relationship I have with my husband.

But MOST days, honestly almost ALL days…I am nothing but grateful to have my incredible husband standing beside me. He has become my biggest cheerleader in this line of work, and supports me day in and day out with such long-suffering. I am so thankful that the women and girls I interact with can also see me interact with a husband who is affectionate, kind, and patient. When they see a God-fearing man who leads his home with intentionality and fathers his daughter with such gentleness, they see the opposite of what they’ve experienced with men before. And THIS strengthens my marriage more than anything. I am so, so grateful that my story is one that includes my loving husband.

Tell us a little bit about your daughter and the tensions you may feel knowing that many who you work with are equally valuable to God, but for complex and varied reasons have had very different childhoods.

Wow – how did you know I feel that tension?! I feel it some with my biological daughter, but I REALLY feel it when I pray for the little girl my husband and I are adopting from Uganda. Knowing that in a few short years, if she wasn’t adopted, she could easily become another statistic as a human trafficking victim…whew. I feel a lot of feels.

I just want to scream IT’S NOT FAIR!!! on behalf of all the kids that don’t have safe home environments. It makes no sense that one child can have parents doting on every single developmental milestone while another is sold by her parents to pay of a small land debt. It literally makes me sick.

But that just takes me back to the power and the purpose of the Lord’s church. Shame on us when we don’t live out the incarnational person of Christ. Just shame on us. There are too many believers in this world to still have so many children at risk of exploitation. There are too many parents that need friends and mentors so that they can raise their own children to be happy and healthy. There are too many dark places without the slightest glimmer of light.

Any final remarks you’d like to make?

Well I guess while I’m preaching, I’ll just say this: I don’t understand why the church has so much trouble being the church.

I’m thinking about light and darkness a lot in this interview, so an image of an auditorium with a stage is coming to mind. You know how, when you have a really bright spotlight shining on a stage, the other parts of the room are still dark? And when you’re standing on the stage, if you look into the spotlight, it’s really hard to see anything else in the room? The light kind of blinds you for a minute.

I feel like so many times as the church, we are that spotlight. We all clump together in our safe huddles, and become this spotlight shining in one direction so that we are too overwhelming for the person standing in front of us, while the rest of the room is left in the dark.

For example, when a hot-button topic comes up in the news (like Planned Parenthood), we shout and scream and wave our Bibles so much that the rest of the world is blinded by our yelling. They can’t hear our message. The issue of abortion is center stage, but there are pregnant, single moms and orphans without homes scattered throughout the audience. No one is wandering into those dark places of the auditorium. We can’t all go to one orphan in a group. We can’t sit beside our friends if we go to that young, scared teenager. That’s all too uncomfortable.

How I wish we could just forget about being the spotlight and instead just carry a little cell phone flashlight. If we dispersed ourselves amongst all the people in the room without light, we could all see. Sitting side-by-side with those in need, offering the little we have, and being the church that believes in lighting up the whole world. With whatever talents we have, with whatever little thing we have to offer. Just spreading out our little so that the whole room is lit up.

Lauren, I love how you peer into the dark corners of the room and say to those sitting in the dark, “I see you. You are not forgotten and we are coming for you with the Love of Christ.” Now for the day when we can hang out for hours in person :).

How has your work impacted you as a person? How has it impacted your marriage or parenting? Any questions for Lauren?

If you’d like to learn more about Lauren, she can be found at:

blog: laurenpinkston.com

instagram: @lmpinkston

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lmpinkston

The Voice of the National – Global

Earlier this month we invited you to participate in a post designed to further the conversations surrounding missions around the world. This post is the summarized compilation of the answers you sent us. Thank you to everyone who took the time to sit and listen. Even if you did not contribute to this post we encourage you to use these questions as launching points for gaining deeper understanding, trust, and connections.

Allow me to introduce you to our international panel

– In Nicaragua, Cassie interviewed her friend Juan.

– Ellen spoke with Samuel, from a very rural nomadic community of pastoral people in Northern Kenya, who moved up from teacher, to headmaster, to school inspector and is now: Constituency Elections Coordinator Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission for Kenya.

– Dustin interviewed Dr. Hugo Gomez who works throughout Central America. He the president of Global CHE Enterprises with community development efforts in Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Belize, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama.

– Levi submitted answers from a group of local pastors in Japan.

The first questions speak of impact.

1. What do foreign missionaries do well? How have they helped your country?

Juan said:

The missionaries that I have found to be the most helpful are those who are open to sharing their lives with us and at the same time learning from us. They have had different experiences in their lives and are able to share and learn with us about how to live in a more peace and just-filled world. Missionaries also have a lot of access to financial capital and resources, which can be beneficial if it is used correctly.

Samuel said:

The core issue is the spread of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

They blend the spread of the gospel with developmental issue in areas that touch on humanity development (medical work, education, part time jobs in their areas of specialization etc.).

They come in handy in very remote areas in seeking solution to perennial problems bedeviling residents of the far flung marginalized communities. Just thinking of how for example they help during boreholes breakdowns, means of transport from time to time, cases of expectant mothers that develop complications during deliveries to referral hospitals.

Through exchange programmes for students and interns empowerment in relevant fields is enhanced.

Revenue collection in Missionaries run facilities am thinking of the Buffalo country Kijabe (The hospital and the academy and all those replicated in the country)

Hold Nations accountable to the people in some instances.

Dr. Hugo Gomez said:

– Role Model of Commitment to the calling obeying the Great Commission and Great Commandment leaving their comfort zone even Short, Middle or Long Term.

– Set example of Wholistic Ministry amidst biased or dichotomized widely spread worldview.

– Conduct good studies, keep statistics way far better than most of us nationals.

– Help nationals plan and evaluate more objectively (specially whenever evaluations are in a participatory style)

– Set good models of Stewardship/Administration for Ministries and Institutions.

– Set good examples of punctuality, order and ornamentation.

– During the 60s introduced diversification of crops in contrast with Monoculture/monocrop growing corn and only corn (staple food).

– Have done New Testament Translations to most of the 24 languages and whole Bible translations to about a dozen Maya languages.

– Have provided or channeled scholarships both in-country and abroad for theological studies, secondary and university and post graduate studies

– Have trained and equipped Christians (and non-Christians) for ministry

– Have helped or invested in projects of infrastructure, church facilities, schools, clinics, housing, wells and other well-intentioned projects.

The Japanese pastors said:

Believers visiting from another country can give a great example of what it means to be a Christian: ‘Not what to do, but what to be.’ (This was explained to be especially true for Japan, which doesn’t have the Christian heritage of a country like the UK.)

Also, having Christians from different countries attend Japanese churches acts as an ‘object lesson’ in having international worship. … teams to Japan should not try to be Japanese, but rather seek to love the Japanese, and thus give an example of what it means to share Christian fellowship across cultural barriers.

The second question addresses assessment.

2. How could foreign missionaries better serve your country and people?

Juan said:

I have seen all types of missionaries here in Nicaragua. There are several that come here, don’t learn Spanish, live in their huge houses on the outside of town and have no real and meaningful interaction with the local people. But there are other types of missionaries who choose to live among the poor, immerse themselves in their communities, come as learners and have an impact through relationships. We really need more of the second!

Samuel said:

Missionary work has come of age thus the need for the current crop of missionaries to live with realities of time in their engagements with the local communities.( Building of partnerships in activities undertaken to add value to works done once they leave.)

Supplement government effort in alleviation of suffering among the citizenry.

Dr. Hugo Gomez said:

– By increasing cross-cultural understanding efforts.

– By increasing contextualization in contrast with culturalization which leads to alienation.

– By continuing to train and equip national leadership.

– By empowering national leadership by gradual delegation of authority.

– By helping in multiplication of local leadership.

– By “working with” instead of “doing for”

– By letting nationals design and build once safe and widely accepted technical specifications are met.

– By avoiding systematic relief services.

– By encouraging nationals to invest their local resources (human, material, financial, livestock, property, etc) as much as possible.

– By promoting and encouraging Transformational Development Ministries like CHE.

– By continuing to witness about the Good News of Christ to non-believers and to disciple new believers

The Japanese pastors said they would like:

People with a willingness to: make friends, receive help, listen & learn, give the language a go. Good communication before and during ministry. Establishment of sustainable ministries. Respect for the local leadership. Humility.

“The pastor is the shepherd, so before you do anything with his sheep you should ask him.”

“The best type of missionary is a person with a broad heart.”

The third question gives us a look at the future.

3. What is your dream for your country?

Juan said:

My dream for Nicaragua is that all people could live in peace and out of poverty – with their day to day needs met while feeling like they are contributing to the great society.

Samuel said:

To see a country anchored in the Lord, that is at peace with itself and its neighbours

A country where human suffering is minimized and where there is room for all to grow in all spheres of life.

A country where there is equitable distribution of resources.

Dr. Hugo Gomez said:

To see individuals, families, communities continuously multiplying in and through Community Health Evangelism towards Transformational Development in the Abundant Life the Lord has made available for all here on earth and for eternity.

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We are hopeful about what we can all learn when we take a moment to stop and intentionally listen to the amazing people we all work alongside.

What have you learned lately from the people of your current nation of residence?

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Breakfast with Gracia Burnham

Gracia Burnham and me at IHOP standing conveniently in front of the globe

I arrived at the restaurant way too early and waited in the foyer Wednesday morning. Part of me still expected her to show up with an entourage. A driver and bodyguard at least! She is that much of a rock star to me.

Over a decade ago Gracia Burnham, author of ‘In the Presence of My Enemies’, became a widowed mother of three after 16 years of missionary service in the Philippines. Her husband was killed after they both spent a year in captivity in the jungle.

Now she was having breakfast with me. Wow! She is so much more wonderful in real life than I had imagined in my mind. Can you believe it? So sweet, kind, humble, gentle, smiley, and peaceful. And very short!

I asked if I could blog about our chat and she graciously agreed.

Q: This is my favorite quote from the book –

Because the Abu Sayyaf — and all of us — still retain the power of personal choice, the option of standing stubbornly against the will of God. And that obstinate stance is, apparently, something an almighty God is not willing to bulldoze. Of course, he could have fired heavenly lasers into the brains of Janjalani and Musab and Sabaya, forcing them to wake up one morning and say, “Okay, Martin and Gracia, this has been long enough. Feel free to hike off whenever you like.” But that would have made them puppets instead of independent human beings with free will of their own, for which they will be eternally responsible.

In this section you give some vivid imagery of who God is not. He is not a bulldozer, not a sharpshooter, and not a puppet-master. Could you give me an image of who God is to you?

Gracia:

God herds me. I see God like a herder behind and around some sheep and they are all milling around and God has his arms out and they are being herded by him. God as my leader? No, I don’t see God out front leading or guiding. God is my herder.

Q: Do you miss living overseas? I’m sorry, people probably ask you that all the time.

Gracia:

I don’t get asked that very often. People assume that I am content and happy to be in the United States. And there is a chosen contentment. But I very much miss living overseas. I would much rather be in the Philippines.

Q: What new trends do you see in this generation of missionaries who are just getting started out as compared to when you began as a missionary over two decades ago?

Gracia:

What I see in today’s missionary is a strong emphasis on safety and comfort. And who am I to say that making a safe and healthy home is not the way to go? But it is a trend. The missionaries going now are talking about the big house they are going to have and where it is going to be and how it is going to be better than the standard of living of the people they are ministering to. Whereas, years ago, the idea was to go to the people and if all they had was one white t-shirt to wear then you wore one white t-shirt. Maybe you had five white t-shirts that you rotated. But the people only ever saw you in one white t-shirt.

Another thing I see happening in the States is the efforts of the church have shifted. Now, all the focus is on getting people on short term trips. I sat in on the board meeting of a group of churches as they discussed their strategy for missions. I had to bite my tongue when they said that the whole of what they were going to do was try and get everyone in their congregation to go serve for a week or two on a short trip. Where is the part where we teach children about the people of the world? When do we pray with the young people so they can ask God if they are called to be a missionary? When do we say to a child who feels called to the mission field, “Yes, okay, we will train you, and pray with you, and spiritually prepare you for a life of sacrifice and simplicity”?

Yes, the simple lifestyle. I don’t see as much simplicity in today’s missionary. The focus is on safety and comfort. Before, the focus was on sacrifice and simplicity. Different lifestyles. We are in different times, so there are different focuses.

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Discussion question:

What pros and cons do you see in the two different missions focuses Gracia highlights? 1. Sacrifice and Simplicity 2. Safety and Comfort

– Angie Washington, missionary living in Bolivia, South America

blog: angiewashington.com twitter: @atangie work blog: House of Dreams Orphanage

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Click here to hear the back story of when Graica Burnham called me, me?!?, on the phone: A Call from Gracia Burnham.