Tag: returning from the field

Coming Home: The Hidden Struggles of Reintegration

by Ken and Brenda Groat

As the airplane lifted off, the tears began to roll down. We were leaving a place that had become our home. We were leaving behind friends who had become more like family, familiar places, and a culture and a people we finally adapted to and fell in love with. And in our case, we were leaving behind our daughter, our only child, who was finishing up her post-graduate studies.

We lived and served in Israel for almost ten years. We did not have a sending church, but we followed God’s leading and sold everything we owned and moved overseas to serve in full-time ministry. Settling in to the new surroundings, the new culture and new relationships was a challenge. We quickly learned the public transportation system, enough language to order a coffee or a meal, and our new roles at the ministry we were volunteering with. I’m not sure I can count the number of times we purchased cottage cheese instead of the cream cheese we were supposed to get for a recipe, or vice versa.

Living abroad without being completely fluent in the language was a challenge, but we blended in and found our way. After living abroad for years, we grew close to other volunteers, and of course to many people in our adopted homeland. 

Returning to the U.S. was never something we thought about, but as our parents aged, we came to the conclusion that we needed to be close to them in case they needed help. Giving notice to the ministry we served with was difficult. Packing up what we could afford to send back to the U.S. on a pallet was even more difficult. I’m not sure if giving a one year notice and having that amount of time was good for us or not, but we thought it was the right thing to do for the organization.

As our departure date approached, we began to experience the lasts; the last time we would go to our favorite restaurant, the last time we would see these particular friends, the last time we visited this special place, the last time we closed the door to our apartment, then finally the last time we hugged our daughter and said goodbye until she finished her university studies.

We were almost silent for the hour-long ride to the airport, then waiting for our flight at the airport seemed to take forever. As we took our seats on the plane, a sense of dread set in. But we knew this dread. The few times we left our adopted homeland for trips back home, we experienced this same dread. This time, however, was different; this time we knew we weren’t coming back.

Being back in the U.S. was strange. Of course our family and friends were happy to see us, and we were happy to see them, but it felt, I don’t know, different. No one could possibly understand what we had experienced, so conversations were shallow. We gave everything we knew, everything that was comfortable for us to serve abroad, and almost no one wanted to hear about what we were so incredibly excited to share. 

When we returned, we had to start over completely. We didn’t have jobs waiting for us. Apart from family, we had no place lined up to stay. We had no vehicle, no car insurance, no health insurance, no furniture, no cell phone plan that worked in the U.S., no church to support us spiritually. Fatigue quickly set it.  

People were not the same as we remembered, and the culture was different. In our case, the stores were overwhelming. It was difficult to walk into large American stores with so many choices for nearly anything we could want. We returned to an America that was very different then when we left it. Family dynamics were not what we expected. We were outsiders and no longer had a community of people that we could rely on.  

Few people understood what we were going through, except those who had returned before us, and they were also struggling to adjust to their new situations. Depression was easy to fall into. We had given everything to follow God and now we felt like we were being kicked to the curb, punished or forgotten.

We struggled for a long time, but eventually things became easier. It still doesn’t quite feel like home, but we are adjusting to the new normal. We have come to realize that we will always miss our adopted homeland, and we may never feel completely at home in the country we grew up in.

Reintegration takes time and intention. Something that helped us was to speak about our experiences with others. You can read articles on A Life Overseas, make the effort to find others with shared experiences, and talk with people who supported you while you were abroad. As someone who has given of yourself for perhaps years to improve the lives of others, it’s not easy to openly talk about what you’re going through and make the conversation about yourself, but it’s necessary and it’s worth it.

As we worked through our reintegration and talked with others around the country who had similar experiences, we realized there is a need for a landing place where you can work through your thoughts and emotions with people who have lived through it. From our first-hand experience, Return Again was born. It was created to be the landing place that we desperately needed but couldn’t find. 

Based in Central Florida, Return Again aims to provide temporary housing, access to vehicles, and—perhaps most importantly—a compassionate community for ministry workers during their transition back to the United States. Although we’re still seeking the right location to build and are awaiting full funding, we can still provide many services and resources to help returnees. 

Whether you’re on deputation, furlough, or returning permanently, Return Again offers practical resources and emotional support during one of the most challenging seasons of your life. Because coming home shouldn’t mean coming home alone. You gave everything to follow your calling. Now it’s time for someone to be there for you. Learn more at www.returnagain.org.

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Ken Groat serves as the Deputy National Director for Bridges for Peace USA. He co-founded Return Again Ministries with his wife of 33 years, Brenda. Together with their daughter, they served in Israel for nearly a decade.

An Open Letter to Returning Workers and Their Support Networks

by Shonna Ingram

Dear Mission Teams and Churches,

When my family of six returned from serving overseas, we thought we knew how to transition. We had read all the books, navigated home assignments and job changes, and made fifteen moves in twenty years.

But this time was different.

What I didn’t realize then—and what our research now confirms—is this: Re-entry isn’t a single event. It’s a layered journey, often marked by loss and disorientation, and it lasts much longer than anyone expects.

Even though we had chosen to return and had prepared for it, parts of re-entry were deeply painful. We lost relationships, purpose, and stability—and we weren’t prepared for how disorienting this season would be.

I often wondered: Why was this so hard? Why did the hardest part hit months—even years—after our return? Why did no one warn us of the deep losses we might encounter, simply because we were “back in America”?

At the time, I kept hearing statements like, “Re-entry is the ugly duckling of the missionary life cycle” and “It is soul sucking, but no one wants to talk about it.”

So I decided (or perhaps God nudged me) to start gathering stories, walking with other returnees, and collecting data myself. What emerged confirmed what many have felt but few have voiced: Re-entry is a long, complicated, and sometimes isolating season that impacts every area of life—identity, finances, mental health, family, and even faith.

Here’s what the data is telling us.

1. Half of Re-entries Are Unplanned

50% of missionaries return unexpectedly—often due to crisis, health issues, team conflict, visa challenges, or burnout.

What this means: Many families return suddenly and without adequate preparation. This demands flexible, compassionate, and sustained care—especially in the early months.

2. Re-entry Is a Long-Term Process, Not a Quick Transition

40% of returnees still don’t feel settled after 5+ years.

What this means: Re-entry care shouldn’t be something we “check off” in a few months. It must extend over years and include spiritual, emotional, and practical support.

3. Loss of Purpose Is One of the Hardest Battles

70% of returnees lost their sense of purpose after leaving the field.

What this means: Leaving the field often means losing not just a role, but a deep sense of identity and calling. Missionaries aren’t just changing jobs; they’re grieving what was.

4. Emotional Health Often Remains Fragile for Years

Over 50% rated their emotional adjustment between 1–4 on a 10-point scale.

What this means: Re-entry is not just reverse culture shock. It includes grief, disorientation, and sometimes trauma.

5. Financial and Career Stability Are Major Stress Points

Over 50% feel unstable in their career or financial future.

What this means: Returning home often feels like starting over—without savings, direction, or networks.

6. Family Adjustment Is Hard

65% rated their family’s adjustment on the low end of the scale.

What this means: Re-entry affects the entire family system. Families need intentional support, community, and care to thrive.

7. Long-Term Expectations Were Shattered

 Almost 70% thought they would live overseas indefinitely.

What this means: Many global workers envisioned serving for life—raising children, retiring, and even being buried overseas. When re-entry comes unexpectedly, it feels like more than just a transition; it’s the loss of a future they had built their lives around. This makes the process deeply disorienting and often layered with grief, identity struggles, and spiritual questions.

8. Churches and Missions Organizations Are Often Unprepared

75% said their sending or supporting churches were not helpful during re-entry. 50% said the same about their sending organizations.

What this means: Too many returnees feel left to navigate one of the most vulnerable seasons of their lives alone.

Together, We Can Change These Statistics

Our findings show that re-entry is long and layered, impacting every part of a global worker’s life. But that also means there is an opportunity for real change.

Churches and organizations have the potential to make a profound difference—not by doing everything, but by doing a few things intentionally.

You might be thinking:

  • “Our church is small.”
  • “Our missions care department is overwhelmed.”
  • “We don’t have the time, money, or training.”

    Here’s the good news: When even one group, such as a sending church, a mission organization, or a care professional, understands and actively engages in re-entry, 85–90% of returnees feel significantly more prepared to navigate the transition.

And when churches, mission organizations, and care providers partner together, the burden doesn’t fall solely on one group.

Imagine what could happen if we:

  • Created emotional and spiritual discernment spaces where returning workers felt safe to share their stories.
  • Offered support that went beyond the initial “landing stage,” so no global worker felt like they were losing everything if they came home.
  • Connected returnees to mentors, peer cohorts, or re-entry-informed coaches and counselors to process loss, rediscover identity, and reimagine calling.
  • Invited them into their next season with hope.

Re-entry Experts was founded by people who have walked this road themselves and know firsthand how difficult re-entry can be without support. We believe it doesn’t have to be that way. What began as a personal journey is becoming a movement.

Our vision is to walk alongside global workers—regardless of their organization, church denomination, or passport country—and to equip the networks that care for them. We know we can’t do it all, which is why partnership is at the heart of what we do.

We love partnering with:

  • Churches and mission organizations that want to build intentional re-entry care
  • Coaches, counselors, spiritual directors, and retreat centers who feel called to serve returnees

We are building the Re-entry Care Network—a connected system of support so no global worker has to walk this journey alone. After completing our training, care providers are added to our network database, making it easy for returnees, churches, and organizations to find the help they need.

Together, we can become a community that doesn’t just send well, but also receives well, heals deeply, and restores purpose.

Let’s walk this road together.

In Hope,

Shonna Ingram, PhD
Founder & Director, Re-entry Experts

Shonna’s new book Navigating the Re-entry Journey: Trauma-Informed Care for Global Workers in Transition shares the “Re-entry Experts” approach to the four phases of re-entry, along with practical tools for churches, organizations, and care providers to create healthy, sustainable care systems for those returning from service.

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Shonna Ingram is the founder and director of the Renewed Hope Approach, a program that offers a practical path to post-trauma care. She has served in ministry and the global missions community, both on and off the field, for over 20 years. A spiritual director and board-certified master trauma-informed mental health coach, Shonna holds a PhD in faith-based trauma care and has trained hundreds of people in more than 30 countries to integrate mental health within a biblical framework. Her heart for global workers in the re-entry season inspired her to create a non-profit called Re-entry Experts, helping global workers discern their next season—whether inside or outside vocational ministry. Shonna’s first and favorite ministry is to her husband and being mom to four amazing adult children and one wonderful daughter-in-law.

Rediscovering Home: When the Familiar Feels Foreign

by Mari Eygabroad

“Welcome home!” I heard the words, but they didn’t feel right. I stood wide-eyed. Were we home? The whirlwind of events over the last month darted through my mind. My heart sank, unsure of what to say. “Thank you” was all I could muster.

The word “home” is supposed to bring comfort. We weren’t there yet. We landed in the US just a month earlier after months of packing and a forty-two-hour trek around the globe, toting as many belongings as we could fit in action packers and checked luggage. We were still adjusting to the ten-hour time change, didn’t have our own space, our kids were sharing an air mattress, and we were all living out of suitcases until our rental house was ready.

Looking back, it took several years of living in Lesotho before it felt like home. We didn’t fit into that culture, but we also didn’t fit in in the US anymore. Maybe anywhere. But isn’t that right where God wants us? “Home” is where He wants us to be. No matter where we are, home is where we are together with God.

By about our third year in Lesotho, we were settled. Most things had become comfortable but not necessarily familiar. We adopted a year-round school schedule, providing our kids with a regular routine that only deviated when we were sick, on break, or on vacation.

We built our community, meeting regularly with friends for coffee or meals. We participated in team gatherings and our home church, and my husband attended regular men’s breakfasts. We gave and received love. Conversations went deep, discussing heart issues, morals, and values. Small talk had no place.

Almost a decade had passed since we began living life overseas when the Lord put it on our hearts to consider returning to America. We thought of so many reasons why we shouldn’t. Nothing was pushing us out of Lesotho. We loved the people, our community, the pace of life, and the ministry we were doing. But one thing remained: God was calling us in a new direction.

So we prayed. A lot. We also invited others to pray with us, which was one of the best decisions we made. We yearn for the wisdom and counsel gleaned from the experiences of others who have walked this path before. After bathing the matter in prayer and receiving a great deal of encouragement and counsel regarding repatriation, we felt prepared to return to the US.

The number one thing we learned from the experiences of many others is that getting plugged into a church and building a community can be a challenge. Though we were returning to our “home area,” many of our friends had moved away. So, we knew we would be building a new community from scratch. We wanted to be intentional about finding a church, so we began scouring websites and attending online sermons as we researched churches in the area where we planned to live. Although we were unable to make in-person connections, we still gained a sense of the church environment and its pastors.

We decided we would attend a church with a homeschool co-op near our rental home. Being comfortable with the pastor and his messages allowed us to feel more at ease about committing to that church. The church has proven to be a solid, biblical church, and we have been able to connect with some smaller groups without hesitation, which would have been a concern if we were unsure of which church we wanted to call our home church.

Initially, we wanted to keep a low profile — just be normal and not play the missionary card too early. However, when attending a small church, people know you’re new, and a straightforward question like, “Where are you from?” opens up a whole can of worms. That’s when I also learned that not everyone is fascinated with our life as missionaries.

It’s challenging to reduce a decade of life into a few sentences. We discovered that we would only be able to share our life overseas with a select few people. Thankfully, we have friends who have been on this journey before us, and they have been great at listening to our stories. It can be a struggle to find friends who genuinely want to hear about your life, so it may become necessary to find a counselor or a repatriation mentor who understands.

Developing relationships has been a slow process. Friends meeting regularly is almost unheard of, and creating depth in a relationship seems tantamount to torture for some people. I cherish the few people I’ve found who desire more serious relationships, but my husband and I both long for that one person we can call our “bestie.”

One of the things we looked forward to when coming back was the opportunity to be involved in church and for our kids to participate in sports or other activities. We dove into quite a few church activities. Although we loved the Bible studies, having more than one a week, in addition to youth group and small group, we realized how quickly those activities can fill up our calendar.

Understanding that packed schedules and constantly on-the-go friends are part of the culture, I’ve realized the importance of not only adjusting my expectations but also protecting my own schedule so I would not get wrapped up in the pace myself. That’s when I resolved that our first few years would be our “try and see” years.

A wise counselor once told me that it could take several years to find a rhythm and establish a routine upon returning. I am beginning to see the truth of that statement. Within the first year, we transitioned from full-time homeschooling to homeschooling plus a co-op and then to private school.

With all the transitions and newness, we’ve discovered that our kids, what some would call Third Culture Kids (TCKs), though resilient, are different than most American kids. We’ve had many tearful discussions around the dinner table about what we miss about Lesotho and the struggles we’re facing. Our son was upset one day after a schoolboy laughed at him because he didn’t know what the phrase “cut the cheese” meant. A seemingly minor colloquialism, but to him, it was a stark reminder of not fitting in. It’s important to encourage our kids that it’s okay to be different while still allowing them to express their emotions.

We’ve also had many joyous conversations about what has been good. Being in school has provided both educational challenges and social awakenings for both of our kids. Having the opportunity to connect with other children has made us realize how significant a role their social life will play in their development. They are forging their own paths and developing their own relationships. Some of their uniqueness and quirks will remain intact, while others will fade away.

It will take some time for all of us to adapt as we continue to learn what it means to live in the US. We will prayerfully enter into church ministry, carefully select activities and events, and continue with patience as we develop new relationships. In trying to establish a routine, I’ve learned that the rhythm of life in America seems seasonal — just as we were beginning to feel we had a good rhythm, along came summer break and bored kids!

When the time comes for you to return to your home country, remember to give yourself time and grace. As you research churches in the area where you’ll be living, try to get plugged in earlier rather than later. Also, understand that past friendships will be different, even if you’ve kept in touch. As you’ve lived, grown, and changed during the time you’ve been away, so have they. Even if you have a few friends to reconnect with, you will likely still need to build a new community around you.

And if you have children, check in with them. They are adapting to everything new on an even larger scale. Our kids only knew Africa. America is an entirely different experience. Children need to have a safe space to process their struggles and successes. Even if their emotions seem irrational to us, they are still real to them.

Moving overseas, you expect things to be difficult, so it seems strange to think things would be so challenging upon returning to your home country. But more and more people find their return more difficult than their departure. So let the Lord be your guide. Invite people to pray with you, pray as a family, and seek counsel from others who’ve walked this road before you. The journey is long. You’ll need some help along the way.

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Mari served as a missionary for eleven years in Lesotho, Africa, with her husband, a pilot/mechanic with Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF). During their first few years living in Africa, her family faced many hardships and tragedies. After searching unsuccessfully for resources that could have prepared her for what they experienced, God put it on her heart to write the book she wished she’d had, and Living Uprooted: Encouragement for the Missionary Wife was born. She and her husband returned to the US in 2024, where they now train and mentor new missionaries. You can find her online at marieygabroad.substack.com.

A Book is Born: Serving Well is now available!

Jonathan and I are thrilled to introduce you to our new book, Serving Well. It is our deepest hope that this 400+ page book will encourage and equip cross-cultural folks through the various seasons of life and ministry.

It’s available on Amazon here. If you’re in the States, our publisher is also selling the book with a 20% discount here.

You can read the Serving Well press release (with book excerpt) here.

From the Back Cover
Are you dreaming of working abroad? Imagining serving God in another land? Or are you already on the field, unsure about what to do next or how to manage the stresses of cross-cultural life? Or perhaps you’ve been on the field a while now, and you’re weary, maybe so weary that you wonder how much longer you can keep going.

If any of these situations describes you, there is hope inside this book. You’ll find steps you can take to prepare for the field, as well as ways to find strength and renewal if you’re already there. From the beginning to the end of the cross-cultural journey, Serving Well has something for you.

 

Early Reviews for Serving Well
“Serving Well is an important voice in the search for honest, experienced conversation on living and working cross-culturally in a healthy and sustainable way. Dig in!”
– Michael Pollock, Executive Director, Interaction International and co-author of Third Culture Kids

“Serving Well is more than a book to sit down and read once. It is a tool box to return to over and over, a companion for dark and confusing days, and a guide for effective and long-lasting service. Elizabeth and Jonathan are the real deal and Serving Well, like the Trotters, is wise, compassionate, vulnerable, and honest. This needs to be on the shelves of everyone involved in international, faith-based ministry.”
– Rachel Pieh Jones, author of Finding Home: Third Culture Kids in the World, and Stronger Than Death: How Annalena Tonelli Defied Terror and Tuberculosis in the Horn of Africa

“Serving Well is a must-read book for missionaries and for those who love them. This is a book you really need if you are ‘called to go, or called to let go.’ In Serving Well we read both the spiritual and practical, simple and profound, funny and compelling in chapters written by Elizabeth and then Jonathan Trotter; hearing from each their voices and their hearts, the struggles and the victories, ‘the bad days and the good days’ of preparing to go and serving well overseas. Their down-to-earth yet godly insights were born from living overseas and from authentically wrestling with the ‘yays and yucks’ of missionary life. They draw wisdom from both Scripture and sci-fi authors, Psalms and funny YouTube videos, encounters with Jesus and encounters with cops looking for a bribe. Take two books with you to the mission field: the Bible, and Serving Well.”
– Mark R. Avers, Barnabas International

“Serving Well is deep and rich, covering all aspects of an international life of service from multiple angles. It is full of comfort, challenge, and good advice for anyone who serves abroad, or has ever thought about it, no matter where they find themselves in their journeys. It is also really helpful reading for anyone who has loved ones, friends or family, serving abroad–or returning, to visit or repatriate. Jonathan and Elizabeth Trotter are both insightful and empathetic writers, full of humility and quick to extend grace–both to themselves and to others. Their writing covers sorrow and joy, hope and crisis, weariness and determination. Best of all, from my perspective as someone who has worked with TCKs for over 13 years, it contains an excellent collection of important advice on the topic of raising missionary kids. Choose particular topics, or slowly meander through the entire volume piece by piece, but whatever you do–read this book!”
– Tanya Crossman, cross cultural consultant and author of Misunderstood: The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century

“Overseas workers face a barrage of junk when they arrive on their field location: identity issues, fear/anxiety issues, and faith issues. I have worked with missionaries for well over a decade now and see how these common themes cry out for a grace-filled approach to truth and authenticity. The Trotters live this out loud, intentionally seeking a way to minister out of their own pain, striving, humor, and failure. Keep this reference close at hand!”
– Jeannie Hartsfield, Clinical Counselor, Global Member Care Coordinator, World Team

“This book is the definitive guide to thriving in cross-cultural ministry. The Trotters have distilled years of experience into pithy chapters filled with helpful tips and wise insights. Put it on your must-read list.”
– Craig Greenfield, Founder, Alongsiders International, author of Subversive Jesus

“In this must-read missions book, Jonathan and Elizabeth unearth the underlying motivations of the cross-cultural call. Penned with copious compassion and startling transparency, Serving Well is sure to make you laugh, cry, and, in the end, rejoice as you partner with God in His global missions mandate.”
– David Joannes, author of The Mind of a Missionary