What Was Brought into the Light. Now What?

First, thank you.

If you took the survey that informed the Let’s Talk About It: Sexual Harassment, Abuse, and Assault on the Field paper, thank you. Truly. Your willingness to share your experiences, insights, and observations made this work possible. This paper exists because you chose to bring what is often hidden into the light.

And bringing things into the light is sacred work.

Again and again in Scripture, we see that what is hidden is not meant to stay hidden. Light reveals, not to shame—but to heal, to restore, and to make a different way possible. Your voices are part of that work.

We do not take that lightly.

Off the top of your head, how frequent do you think sexual harassment, abuse, and assault are on the field?

One survey question asked participants to describe how often sexual harassment, abuse, or assault occurred in their context on the field. Participants selected from four categories: Rare (once a year or every couple of years), Seldom (a couple of times a year), Common (monthly), and Frequent (almost daily).

To help visualize the responses, imagine one hundred cross-cultural workers standing in front of you, each representing one survey participant.

Survey Results

We unpack these findings and what organizations, team leaders, and people on the field can do with this reality. But from these results, you can see this is topic we need to talk about.


What’s Inside the Paper

With the wide range of experiences and the depth of the reality, we (the authors) wanted to honor the complex reality you may live in.

We started with:
—An overview of the Survey

—Definitions of Terms

—Two Buckets: Within an Organization and Within a Host Culture

—Frequency of Sexual Harassment, Abuse, and Assault on the Field

—How to Prepare and Support People When Sexual Harassment, Abuse, and Assault Is Rare or Seldom

—How to Prepare and Support People When Sexual Harassment, Abuse, Assault Is Common or Frequent

But we also realized that there are “Ten Contributing Factors” to Sexual Harassment, Abuse, and Assault on the field and spent time unpacking each of these with quotes from survey participants.

1. Why People Are Quiet

2. Why This Topic Isn’t Widely Discussed

3. Role of Personal History

4. Power Dynamics

5. Role of the Host Culture

6. Race and Minority/Majority Culture Dynamics

7. Gendered Cultural Experiences

8. Mental Health of Harassers

9. The Ministry Pedestal and Calling

10. Roles of Those Involved

We ended the paper with suggestions for cross-cultural workers, organizations, sending churches, and friends and family members. There’s something for everyone!

What Readers Are Saying

We’ve begun hearing from readers, those who have taken the time to sit with the data, the stories, and the implications. Here’s some of what they are saying:

I’m so glad you touched this topic through the survey and this report. By that you have given those who sometimes couldn’t share a voice! I pray that this brings change in the way we talk about it and handle these things, starting with myself 😉


What impacted you most?

How common sexual assault by someone in the host culture occurs yet I have never heard people talk about it. That’s crazy

Did any statement, sentence, or section stand out to you? If so, what was it?

The example of a team leader going out of us way to advocate for his younger female teammates, insisting to national partners that they be treated with respect. I had landlords and neighbors in India do that for me (they were not even believers!), but teammates seemed unaware of the necessity of providing that for us.

If someone hasn’t read Let’s Talk About It: Sexual Harassment, Abuse, and Assault on the Field, why should they read it?

It is a great tool for opening a discussion on a topic that has largely been discussed only after there was a complaint filed. It also helps us understand the definitions of harassment, abuse and assault, and helps answer the question people seem to be asking themselves such as “does this count, and as what?”


A New Resource Hub

We’ve also created a few supplemental resources to help you continue engaging and sharing:

✅ Podcast episode: Hear directly from the authors as we unpack key themes and what surprised us most [Listen here]

✅ Graphics: Easy-to-use visuals from the paper for social media, newsletters, or presentations.

✅ Infographics: Clear, shareable summaries of key findings (two specifically for organizations! One geared for you to use in newsletters)

✅ Discussion guide: A tool to help teams and groups process the paper together

Find all these and more when you scroll down this page in the Download Hub.

Our hope is that these resources help you not only understand the content—but engage it in ways that lead to wisdom, care, and change.


Why This Matters

Sexual harassment, abuse, and assault are not isolated issues. They are shaped by culture, power, systems, and silence. And in cross-cultural contexts, these dynamics are often intensified—by distance, dependency, lack of oversight, and deeply embedded cultural norms.

Policies matter. Training matters. But neither are enough on their own.

What many of you helped surface—and what we are continuing to learn—is that this work is also spiritual work. It is about truth-telling. It is about dignity. It is about how we reflect the heart of God in the communities we’re a part of and the systems we uphold.


Where We Go From Here

This paper was never meant to be the final word. It is a starting place.

A way to name what is happening.
A way to listen more carefully.
A way to begin asking better questions.

And now, together, we take the next steps.

If you took the survey, thank you for your courage and your honesty. If you haven’t read the paper yet, you can get it here. If you’ve read the paper, consider who you might invite into this conversation with you. These are not conversations meant to be held alone.

Because the kind of communities we long for—safer, more just, more whole—are not built by accident. They are shaped, over time, by people willing to walk in the light, to tell the truth, and to love one another well.

And that kind of work, too, is sacred.


Let’s Talk about Sexual Harassment

#metoo

Kavanaugh vs. Blasey Ford

Running while Female (aka, living while female)

Its time to talk about sexual harassment again. I am not coming at this from a political angle. But recent US political events highlighted, again, that sexual harassment is a very real and present danger and can have long-term consequences, sometimes leading to depression, anxiety, poor sleep, high blood pressure, and PTSD.

Organizations, teams, families, friends, coworkers, everyone living abroad needs to talk about this.

*****

What does harassment look like? Here’s just a few examples based on personal experience:

Leering. Open-mouthed, wide-eyed stares. Kissy-faces. Sexual hand gestures. Men cupping imaginary breasts. Men pulling down their pants. Pulling my hair and yanking on my clothes. Calling me a whore and a prostitute and an infidel and describing what they would like to do to me or simply shouting, “sex!” Throwing rocks and soda bottle caps. Trying to trip me. Jumping from behind and shouting, in an attempt to scare me. Spitting. Following. Mimicking my walk. Walking behind so closely they step on my heels. Drawing the finger across the throat. Grabbing my breasts, pinching and/or punching my ass, dumping a bottle of liquid on me while I wait on the corner.

(Lest I give the impression this only happens where I live now, I have experienced sexual harassment in every country I’ve spent significant time in.)


Unfortunately, even while women shout and educate and train, I don’t have high hopes that sexual assault or harassment will stop. But I also don’t want to sit in a place of anger and humiliation. These experiences need to be redeemed.

The first thing I did after a particularly upsetting incident was visit two friends, one Djiboutian and one expat, who live together. I told them what happened, they told me what they experience, how they respond. We prayed for each other. This is how we start to redeem sexual harassment. Together, we refuse to be silenced.

I own my story. I listen to the stories of the women around me. I say, me too. That happened to me too. (I actually wrote this essay four years before #metoo. Just sayin’.) I tell my story, I don’t hide it because it is embarrassing, because my reaction wasn’t what I wish it were. I hear the women around me say, me too. And, I’m sorry. And, I’m angry with you, for you. We are the walking wounded. Yes, we are wounded, but yes, we are walking forward, out the front door. And knowing that Asha is walking out her front door, Mumina out hers, Sarah out hers, Carrie out hers, I gather all their strength and step out mine.

I recognize that there is nothing new under the sun and I read about the women of faith who have walked this path before. Dinah. Tamar. Esther. The Levite’s concubine. Their tears are not forgotten. Not by women and not by the Creator of all humans.

I learn, to the depths of my core, that I am created in the image of God. I learn how to offer that same truth and dignity to others, to lessen the incidents of my own dehumanizing of others, like beggars at my door or men I might lump into a clump of harassers. I honor the men who rise up to defend me.

I talk to my husband about it. Men need to know what this does to women, they need encouragement and exhortation to talk to other men about it. It needs to be a team discussion topic.

I use words to illuminate the raw places of my soul and wrote this to my body after a boy grabbed me through the car window while I was stopped in traffic. I encourage anyone who has been harassed to write a letter to your body.

You are my body. This is all I’ve got. This color, this shape, this height. These are my muscles, you are strong and enable me to walk down the street or run or bike. Underneath these clothes, these are my stretch marks and scars and cellulite patterns. This is my voice and the way I laugh. When I walk, this is the way my butt swings, this is the rhythm of my hips and the sway of my shoulders.

Sometimes when people call me a whore, I’m tempted to round my shoulders over, to curve my back, to turn in on myself. I become so conscious of the way my hips move that I trip over the stones in the dirt road. I’m so aware of the teensiest bit of bouncing in my body, that I feel my face burn red, as though there were something to be ashamed of in the jiggle.

There isn’t something to be ashamed of here.

You are my body. You are all I have to walk around this world in. It is hard enough to escape the shame and guilt of all the ways I am weak and fail my friends, my family, my work. I can not let people add to that shame by allowing them to put that on you, too.

So I won’t.

You are a temple, a holy place where the essence of ‘me’ dwells. We will walk in the glory that is this body, this temple. I promise to own it. Care for it. Use it. Wear it with confidence even in public. There is no shame here.

What else can you do to process harassment in a healthy, restorative way?

P.S. I wrote a follow-up to this piece on my blog, about what happens to me almost every time I write about sexual harassment, if you’re interested.

Some more pieces:

The Story Women Need to Tell

This Is My Body. Thou Shalt Not Break It.

Freedom from the Silence of Shame