When I was nineteen, my mom converted from Christianity to Judaism. This sent me on an intense, all-consuming search. I wanted to know the truth, no matter the consequences. Was Jesus the Messiah or not?
My search was long and exhausting as I scoured the Old Testament, read books, and prayed. But my journey was worth the work when it finally led me to a deep and abiding faith in Jesus.
So when I sat down to interview Sovath, a former Buddhist and Khmer Rouge survivor, I thought I was ready. He too had diverged from the religious path of his mother. I thought in some small way I could relate to his journey.
It was Sovath’s wife who had originally asked me to write his family’s story as a narrative nonfiction book.
“It’s just too miraculous not to be a book,” she had told me. So, with her initial notes in hand, I traveled, interviewed, and read about the Khmer Rouge genocide. Despite the trauma of remembering, Sovath and his siblings recounted their amazing story.
Everything was going great. Until we came to the very question I thought I could relate to.
“Why did you decide to follow Jesus?” I asked. Ever humble, Sovath mentioned that he had been initially attracted to the extra food and clothing the church distributed. He was taking guitar and English lessons at the church. There was nothing else to do in the refugee camp.
Then he stopped talking.
Knowing Sovath is deeply religious, I tried other questions.
“What really convinced you?” “How did you know it was true?”
Sovath described the meaningful discussions they had at Bible studies. The agony of knowing he might hurt his mother if he followed Jesus. The way Jesus appeared to him in a vision at the very moment of his greatest confusion.
I wrote furiously. Yet I still wracked my brain for the question that would help me tell the more important story: Why did Sovath choose Jesus?
We ended our interview without an answer. Over the coming months, I prayed about how to write Sovath’s story. I thought back to my years as a missionary in India. For many Hindus, truth is seen as an illusion. This sounds like fancy philosophy, but it trickles down into the worldview of many ordinary people, too.
Buddhism came out of Hinduism, I remembered. What if Sovath’s struggle to follow Jesus was very different from mine?
The next time we met was one year later, and I had a new question: “What made choosing to follow Jesus difficult for you?”
I learned that Sovath’s deepest question was not about the truth at all. In fact, he believed what the Christians taught was true long before he accepted Christ as his personal Savior.
Instead, Sovath’s questions were all related to identity and loyalty. Is Jesus just for Christians, or for all people? Who am I if I’m not a Buddhist? How do I relate to my family and society as a Christian? Is it more important to be loyal to my parents and my country, or to my Creator?
Once I realized identity was such an important piece of Sovath’s story, I understood the conversion of two of his siblings, too.
These siblings asked the Highest God for a miracle. And He answered. Not only by saving them from certain death, but by giving each of them a new identity.
Chantana felt she had no voice when the Khmer Rouge treated her like an object to be destroyed. But Jesus heard the cry of her heart and called her His daughter.
Vudh and Nary, defiantly loving and caring for their young family under a dangerous and brainwashing regime, later found themselves blessed and beloved in the family of God.
Sovath was torn from his family at eleven years old and forced to work. He almost starved. But God brought him back to his family in time to escape death and ultimately showed him the way to eternal life.
In the end, searching for the right question helped Beyond a Thousand Shadows to represent a little less of my worldview and a little more of Sovath’s. And it reminded me of the importance of understanding the Most Important Questions of others — especially of those who are engaged in the agonizing search for an answer.
Read about what God did to save Sovath, Chantana, Vudh, Nary, and their family in my newest book, Beyond a Thousand Shadows.
